Body Talk
My best friend Stephanie sent me a text about taking part in a service called Body Talk through Energetic Explorations here in Winnipeg and I immediately said yes, simply because I wanted to hang out with my bestie. 10 minutes before my appointment I printed off my intake form and zipped over to the location (which is close to my house!) but I still had no idea what I had just signed up for - but I was excited!
I met with Jen who walked me through the intake process and she informed me that I would lie on the table and she would simply “talk” to my body to find places that need healing: whether it be emotional, spiritual, physical or otherwise. Going in with no expectations was the best situation because then I could really be present and pay attention to the service instead of anticipating what was coming or putting my own thoughts into it - instead I just received and it was lovely.
Jen used my arms and other parts of my body and as she was talking to my body, she let me hear her thought processes. She told me that my body felt like I had a 4ft metal bar separating my upper and lower body bits - which she interpreted as me showing one version of myself to the public and keeping the “soup” to myself (the emotional, sobby, chaos). After which she said, “You don’t cry much, do you?”
All of this is true and hard to hear someone else say. I’ve been trying to show my vulnerability more to people around me and letting them in to see my “soup” but it’s incredibly hard. I have trained myself for 36 years to be strong, resilient, and made of stone so others could rely on me - but in doing so I neglected to see that I needed to ask for help as well. After all, stone eventually crumbles.
As we progressed through the treatment she then mentioned the fact that I take on more than the average empath. “It’s part of your nature, but I’m surprised you aren’t sicker or in more pain considering how much you take on…” I told her that I’ve been working on making myself a priority for the last 9 months and while it certainly hasn’t been easy, it probably has helped. If I had continued down the path I previously had I know I would have succumbed to more illness. She told me it is imperative that I help my body “digest” the emotions and problems I take on - from myself and others.
I’ve noticed the more work and thought work I do, the more exposed I let myself become. I explained to my bestie today that my feelings are sharp lately. This means everything I feel I feel it immensely - whether good, bad or otherwise. Previously, I think I had done such a good job of dulling my feelings and emotions with work and more work that I forgot what it felt like to cry at a sunset or feel icky in my body for doing something against my character.
Another interesting point of my treatment was when she was working on my diaphragm and she said “I don’t know why, but the word Father keeps coming up.” I never told her about my dad’s death in 2007. I also never really dealt with the trauma I experienced in watching him die. This time of year is when my feelings feel wobbly anyways, BECAUSE it was between March and June that he wasted away and we watched it happen. I didn’t cry the day my dad died because everyone else did. I’ve cried since, but I don’t think I’ve ever fully processed what happened. In fact, the last time I went to therapy and she asked me how old I was when my dad died I said “I dunno like 26, 27….” and she looked at my form and said “But he died in 2007 and you are 33 now? That means you would have been 23 or 24.” In order to process the grief, the trauma and move forward my brain told a little lie to make me believe it wasn’t “as” terrible as it actually was, so clearly there needs to be work done in that part of my life.
So, yah, it was a pretty awesome experience and I am thankful I have friends like my bestie to align me with these awesome opportunities. I am curious to see how the treatment plays out over the next few weeks and what I notice between my mind and my body. If you live in Winnipeg and are curious to learn more, you can check out Energetic Explorations website HERE.
