Social Conformity Is Bananas
As part of my ongoing experiment to create based off of words suggested to me by my Beyond the Body community, I was given the word Bananas. I was really excited because I was all set to share a study that I had heard about that would be a perfect topic for folks as to how we follow along doing things that people before us always did. However, upon researching the study I found that IT WASN’T A REAL STUDY!! It was a made up study and carried forward bet TedX talks, speakers, pastors, and various organizations - but it wasn’t based in any truth. And the interesting thing was - while the “study” itself didn’t happen, what happened WITH this fake study actually demonstrates what they were trying to prove with the fake study!
Alright, so let me start off by sharing the fake study that I was super excited about. It was essentially called The 5 Monkeys study (again, false) and it was to demonstrate that people just go along with doing what their peers are doing - something along the lines of “unquestioningly following the herd.” The study goes like this:
A group of researchers put 5 monkeys in a cage with a bunch of bananas hanging high up from a string and a ladder leading to the bananas. When one monkey would go up the ladder to grab the bananas, the researchers would spray all of the monkeys with ice cold water for 5 minutes (even though this is a fake study I was still sad at this thought.) Shortly after, a second monkey would try to get up the ladder and again, the researcher would spray ALL the monkeys with ice cold water for 5 minutes. When the third monkey just touched the ladder, the other 4 monkeys attacked him to prevent him from causing them all to get sprayed with the ice cold water. Now that the researchers see the 4 monkeys attacking the 1, they swap out one of the old monkeys with a new monkey - one who hasn’t witnessed NOR experienced the ice cold water punishment. Naturally, that new monkey tries to go up the ladder and very quickly the old 4 monkeys attack him so that they do not get blasted with the ice cold water. The researchers then swap out another old monkey for a new monkey and of course, the process repeats where the other 4 attack the new one. The researchers continue swapping out the monkeys until now they have 5 NEW monkeys in the cage, none of which have experienced or witnessed the punishment but now the monkeys don’t even bother to try to get the bananas. They fear the bananas, but they don’t know why. The moral of the story is, many of us will continue to do behaviors that were taught to us even though we don’t know why.
Like, part of me is sad that it isn’t a real study because it’s got a good moral - however, the other part of me is happy that these particular monkeys were not subjected to ice cold water. But the wild thing is, how many people have shared this so-called “study” because they saw the response it got when other people did, so without questioning it, researching it or simply calling it a fable, people just went along with the behaviors that other people before them had done.
Now, how does this apply to being a heart-centered creative? Well, let me break down a few of the ways I see this play out:
Many of us have been told that photography/art/writing are great hobbies so many of us undercharge/struggle with valuing the time, effort and talent that comes with doing our careers. Perhaps your Uncle tried to venture out on his own creative endeavor and ended up penniless or being shamed by his family - now he wants you to avoid the same pitfalls he did and thinks he is saving you by telling you that it isn’t a real job and you should do something more professional. Even though you have parents that tell you can do anything and the business smarts to make it happen - part of you still believes that what you do “isn’t a real job”. You personally never experienced the shame or financial insecurity, but your Uncle’s story is essentially the same as the monkey attacking the other monkeys to avoid the punishment.
What do we do about this?
Look at your business objectively and without emotion. Do your cost of doing business, expand your story by looking at people who are HONEST about their struggles but also have succeeded, and by questioning your Uncle: “Why do you think your business didn’t work out?” “What could you have done differently do you think?” etc. This will help you build context that maybe going into business isn’t the problem, but your Uncle might not have been cut out for entrepreneurship.
2. Many of us get caught up in trend hopping instead of staying true to what is right for us. Peer pressure doesn’t end in our teen years, it continues on into adulthood and now we actually have financial capabilities to follow suit (even if it makes us in debt!) and social media isn’t making it easier. Social conformity is a wild thing but we see it all the time - this is why trends are…well, trends! While the fake monkey study shows us the punishment side of social conformity, we also fall in line to reap the rewards. The main reward is that people won’t think we are weird, different, or rebellious. This is tugging at our very primal need for survival in that, if we became ousted from our tribe chances of death were much higher - but now that we are semi-independent people in a relatively evolved world, death is not as immanent when we are lone. If we don’t question WHY we feel the need to buy all the things, then we will always feel like we are just falling short of the other cool kids and find ourselves WAAAAAAY off our path (says the girl who bought a $500 egg chair because someone she admired had one and then that same girl sold the chair 2 weeks later because it was not at all in line with the work she wanted to create). Whether it’s seeing the perceived success of our colleagues creating beautiful images featuring big angel wings, clawfoot tubs or neon lights OR lusting after another photographer’s editing style we can find ourselves very quickly out of alignment with why we are doing this work to begin with. (Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with any of the things mentioned - I have just found that many people are willing to go broke buying these things in an effort to get more business, but it doesn’t work because it’s out of alignment with their messaging and purpose).
What do we do about this?
Refer to my past posts/podcasts on VALUES and PURPOSE. Understanding why you are doing the work you are doing is REALLY important. The other thing would be to do a Cost Benefit Analysis of the purchases you desire to make. Will investing $3000+ in a piece of glorious furniture reap its rewards in enough time for you to pay off the credit card? Be honest with yourself, will buying new presets make your clients value you more or less or not at all? One of the main takeaways from the 5 Monkeys Fable is that we should question why we are doing the things we are doing and not just going along with it for shits and giggles. If you want to get clearer on your Puporse and Mission, feel free to join us at the next Empowerment for Everybody course happening in November!
3. We ignore our needs because of the bullshit we’ve been fed from diet & hustle culture. This is probably one of the things that impacts not just our businesses but our lives on a grand scale. I don’t know about you, but I’ve literally tried every diet since I was 11 years old because someone told me: Sugar is the devil, carbs are bad, fat is horrible, etc. I mean, hands up if you also still kind of believe that 1200 calories is what we should be aiming for in a day?? This is really important because our bodies are our livelihoods. If we don’t fuel ourselves, rest ourselves, or take care of ourselves in the way that our INDIVIDUAL BODIES need then we are going to be doing a disservice to ourselves and our businesses. I’m telling you, if I only ate 1200 calories a day and did a full day of shooting + editing, I would be knackered. But it’s not just what and how we are eating - it’s also our rest and sleep and stress. So many of us are worried about “staying relevant” and will literally work ourselves into the grave to make sure “enough” people know our names. Posting on social media to stay relevant is NOT worth your mental or physical health. The shame that we feel for not working hard enough (yet we are some of the hardest workers I know) or doing enough is ridiculous and it’s only because we are willfully following the patriarchal capitalistic narrative that makes us feel inferior when we don’t. Without the pandemic, I don’t know if I would have been able to take a step back and truly question everything I was doing in my business and simply ask myself the question: WHY? Why am I working so many hours? Why do I think I need to make that much money? Why do I think I need to stay doing the same thing? Why am I okay to give all my time to everyone else and none of it to myself?
What can we do about it?
Literally, the last thing I mentioned above. Question everything: Why am I eating the way that I am? What do I really want from 1200 calories? Where did I learn that fat is bad? Why am I okay to compromise my physical health for my work? Why am I so afraid to rest my body? What comes up for me? Why am I anxious about stepping away from social media - even for 1 day? How does this eating regime actually make me feel? Would it feel better if I did something else? Would I like to do something else? What am I avoiding by not moving my body?
