Body Image vs. Body Positivity

Whenever I tell people that I work with people on their body image, many people assume I am saying the phrase “body positive” - but the reality is I am not. Body image is a neutral term that is essentially a noun - the subjective picture a person has of themselves in their mind. Body positivity is, well, positive. It came from a movement that was created by a bunch of rad fat activists back in the day to encourage folks to accept themselves at whatever stage they were at. Some people have a body positive body image - but most people do not AND no one has a body positive body image ALL the time.

So, why do I focus on body image and not body positivity?

Body positivity is a great movement that got me started in understanding that there was another perspective I could have that wasn’t about changing my physical structure - but once I learned that body image is not at all about the body, body positivity seemed like a band-aid for a gunshot wound. I focus on body image because it is about accepting what IS and not what “should” be. For example, if I close my eyes and imagine my body or even if I look at it in the mirror what I see is neutral until I attach thoughts to certain aspects of what I am seeing. Those thoughts are ideas that were formed from the time I was younger until the present - many that I continued to perpetuate into my adulthood. So, while body positivity seems like it would be a good countersuit to body hate - the word “positive” perpetuates the idea that one “SHOULD” be positive towards there body ALL the time. Which is why when I’d have a negative body image day, I would not only feel bad about the perceived aspect of my body, but I would feel bad about feeling bad. And that is just doubly unproductive - so, no thank you.

By focusing on body image, I am able to reverse engineer my thoughts, breaking it down to fact vs. fiction whereas body positivity does not leave room for this type of critical thinking. Body positivity simply encourages that you are positive towards yourself all the time - which is great in theory, but not great in practicality. Here’s an example:

I try on a dress from last year that now doesn’t fit.
My reaction is to be frustrated and a little upset.

Body positivity says :
“Be kind to yourself and love the way you look!”
or
”Tell yourself you love yourself and just put on a different outfit.”

And at first glance, these sound like great options and they are CERTAINLY a better alternative than my usual behavior which would have been to cry, throw a temper tantrum, throw all the sugar in the house away and refuse to leave my bedroom. However, these statements don’t shift the beliefs/thoughts that make me feel bad - these statements just gloss over and ignore them which means they will still be there the next time I am in a situation that makes me feel bad about my bod. Plus, if I am telling people I am a body positive person, now I feel that I can’t share these negative thoughts with people because it is out of alignment with who I am trying to be.

[Now, don’t get me wrong, this IS a helpful tool until you learn to manage your mind - but it will not provide you long term results because you aren’t dealing with the actual issue.]

So, let’s look at the other perspective:

Body Image says:

“I am upset that my body is bigger than it used to be.”

or
”I am frustrated that I don’t fit this size anymore because of my body.”

Body image understanding allows me to hear these thoughts and, instead of glossing over them, shift into curiosity and examination mode:
”What am I making it mean if my body is bigger than it used to be?”
”That means that I am a failure/unhealthy/lazy/undisciplined (essentially you can put in any word diet culture likes to throw at us.)”
”Is this true? Are you unhealthy? Are you lazy? Are you undisciplined? OR is it possible your body is just bigger and that’s all that that means?”
In other words:
”What are you making your changing body MEAN?”
Me putting on a dress that doesn’t fit is a neutral experience UNTIL I attach thoughts that I have been taught on how to think about that situation.
(This is why, if I had put on a dress that was TOO BIG on me, the thoughts would have been more positively oriented which tells us that we have been taught that a changing body is okay, but only if it is changing in one specific direction.)

Once you recognize what thoughts you are attaching to the neutral situation, then you can work through those:
Who taught me that?
Where did I learn that?
When did I learn that?
Do I want to keep believing it?
Is there another alternative thought that would serve me better?
etc.
Every time after this experience that you encounter similar feelings, you will be faster and faster at jumping to the neutral state allowing you to go through your day relatively unphased at these neutral situations.

By working with people on their body image, we are able to look at it from more of an objective stance, rather than subjective, giving them evidence and arguments to use when their emotional brain starts to attach meaning to relatively neutral experiences.

Practicing body positivity is still good, but it’s important to notice when it’s distracting you from dealing with the reality of your thoughts. The more we focus on our body image, rather than constantly hyping up our meatsack, the more we will make actual headway to breaking through the thoughts and beliefs that strive to keep us distracted and buying into diet culture so that we can start to focus on things that truly matter: you know, like living.