Blocks: Get that Money, Honey Pt 2
Welcome back to breaking through those money blocks! Today we are going to be taking a closer look at why we believe the things we do and how we can make peace and move forward to creating new thoughts that support the money making/saving humans we want to become!
WHERE DOES YOUR MONEY MINDSET BEGIN?
This is a bit of a journaling and quiet time adventure. When I was going through my body image blocks I went through this process and the more I am learning about self growth, I am realizing that it doesn’t matter WHAT we are blocked with, it is imperative to see where and from whom we learned our beliefs and behaviors. Between the ages of 0-14 our brain is a sponge just taking in information from those around us, particularly those who are our caretakers more than anyone else. The people who cared for you throughout your life will have role modeled how to think, feel, and treat money - either for good or for bad.
The other week when I went to the cabin by myself I went through a meditation through the To Be Magnetic school specific for money blocks and what really came to the forefront was my Dad’s relationship to money. Growing up I never realized we were poor, but as I got older and spoke to my Mom I realized that they were barely holding things together and creditors were calling and the farm was on the brink of bankruptcy for the whole time I lived there. So, I broke down my parents’ relationships to money:
My Mom: was a multi-faceted entrepreneur that would use her talents and strengths to work multiple jobs doing things she loved to bring in extra money. She would squirrel away money to take care of us and the farm (we didn’t see this, but she told me about it as I got older). She was a seamstress, a caterer, worked at a liquor store, started her own fabric store, worked at the ski hill, managed another, ran a market garden, worked for various organizations as a leader, worked for H&R block and other accounting firms, and literally anything and everything she could ALL WHILE TAKING CARE OF THE THREE OF US AND HELPING MY DAD WITH THE FARM.
My Dad: was also multi-faceted as a carpenter, farmer, coach, and worked at the ski hill - but most of the things that he did he never charged his worth. His feelings about money were always vocalized, because he never had any; and it fed into, what I see now as, his insecurities. He talked about rich people as greedy assholes who were people he never wanted to be like (but secretly did). I remember it was very clear that people who made a lot of money were bad and people who gave a lot were very good. (If you know me, I am certain you can see this playing out in my life). Interestingly enough, when he moved to the city to take a job with the government and started making good money, he turned into the very thing he despised. While he was a great father, I think he got lost when he started having the things he never thought he was allowed to have.
Recognizing my own behaviours in the behaviours of my parents made me step back and say “OOOOOOOH”. I recognized that my “guilt” around asking for my worth or taking what is owed to me was created waaaaay back in the day from my Dad’s belief. I didn’t want to become the person that he didn’t like. It literally breaks down in my subconscious as “If you become rich, your Dad won’t love you and you will be an asshole.” SHEESH. Interestingly enough, when I WAS working a job that I did make a significant amount of money, I DID become an asshole - because that’s what I thought you did. Sigh.
But I am not in the business of blaming my parents because at the end of the day they only do what they know how to do. Now that I am aware of this belief lingering in my subconscious it is no one’s responsibility but mine. It is up to me to decide if the beliefs “If you make money you will be an asshole and unloved” and “You should feel guilty taking money, so get rid of it as soon as you can" are serving my purpose - and I am telling you now, they definitely are not!
I will quickly end this one off with the understanding that you may do the same thing as your caretaker OR you may do the complete opposite depending on how you processed what was being role modeled to you - but usually the motivation is the same.
QUESTIONS TO ASK:
*What were your caretakers’ relationships to money and money mindset?
*How was money perceived throughout your childhood?
*If you could sum it all up into a few phrases, what are the beliefs that were learned from the role modeling you saw?
