How to Introvert When Surrounded By Extroverts

Over the past few years I’ve really started to recognize my need for alone time and space and as such I’ve determined that I am much more of an introvert than I am an extrovert which makes sense why my business really took a toll on my body and mind - I literally gave everything away and I never afforded myself the space and time to decompress. Over the next few weeks I will have been around people for 4 weeks total with very little time for me by myself, so I’ve had to come up with an introvert game plan to help me through and I figured I would share it with you to help you if you find yourself in a similar boat.

1. Get clear about your boundaries BEFORE you go

One thing that really is necessary before you get into an extroverted situation, is recognizing what your limits are and how it feels in your body. For me, I visualize my energy like a cup or battery and can literally watch it get depleted the longer I am around folks. For me, I literally feel….full. Knowing what I feel like will let me know when it’s time to enact the Introverted Plan. My boundaries are usually some variation of: I will stay for X hours. I will entertain meeting X amount of people. I will step away when I feel XYZ.

2. Communicate

If I am somewhere with friends, I will let them know ahead of time that I might just disappear occasionally to get some fresh air, to recuperate or even check out early when it gets to be too much. I let them know that nothing is wrong (many extroverts might think something is wrong because they GET energy from those types of situations) and just to not be surprised when they can’t find me. This open line of communication makes me feel less anxious about them being worried or not having a good time, etc.

3. Have your Introverted Plan

Again, this is something I will usually come up with ahead of time. But I remind myself that a few ways to maintain peace and protect my energy in an extroverted space can include:

-deep breathing
-standing against a wall to feel supported
-getting outside to breath some fresh air and ground your feet
-having a mantra to repeat (I am safe. My energy is protected.)
-having something in my pocket to fiddle with to help remove the anxiety
-wearing clothes that are comfortable
-having an exit strategy

4. Knowing when enough is enough

Sometimes our FOMO can cause us to stay longer in situations than we should and we regret it the next day(s). It’s imperative to be okay to step away when you feel that fullness happening. It will be okay - I promise.

5. Have a follow up strategy

The final piece to this plan is to have a follow up strategy (and so you can communicate to your people). I will usually follow up a lot of people-ing with hiding in my office/bedroom, napping, focus work, and no talking or interacting. I will also ask my husband to rub my back, eyebrows and play with my hair as I nap and we watch tv shows that we’ve watched before. Lastly, I will go for a few walks and listen to my podcasts. This allows me to recharge.

So, my fellow introvert - I hope this plan helps you as much as it helps me. Being around extrovert humans is important to doing things we probably wouldn’t do on our own, but it is also important to have a recuperation plan so you don’t deplete yourself.