Mindset Tools for Creatives - Part 3: ABCs
As an empowerment photographer & mindset coach, it is integral to keep my own mindset in check so I can show up and do the work for my clients. Over the next few days I am going to be sharing with you my favorite tools that I use to keep on track, focused, and in a relatively positive (or at least resilient) mindset.
Tool 3: ABCs
Relearning my ABCs to help me with thought work has been one of the biggest game changers for me. Dr. Albert Ellis created the ABC model for cognitive behavioral therapy as a technique to help people realize that external events do not cause our feelings/emotions but rather, it is our THOUGHTS about external events that cause our feelings/emotions. Understanding the ABC model allows you to feel more in control of your mind regardless of what the world throws your way - its not to say it eradicates the shittiness of oppression and all that jazz, but it does help make YOU more resilient to be able to fight another day.
A = Adversity (or situation)
B = Belief (or meaning)
C = Consequence (or outcome & feelings)
I teach this method as part of Body Image Bootcamp to help people understand that their pants not fitting or the number on the scale is not responsible for how they feel, but rather it is the MEANING they are attaching to those things that are creating the feelings/consequences. In the case of being a creative however, we want to use this to help us build up our self efficacy and self esteem because many of us, I would guess, are more sensitive in certain ways and over time our beliefs about OURSELVES leak into how we feel about our work, our business and so on.
The main things to remember:
The A will never change in thought work. It is simply the initiation to pull up a belief.
The B must change in order for the C to change.
Here are some common creative experiences (as provided by the members of my everyBODIES education group!)
CLIENT SAYS “YOU ARE TOO EXPENSIVE”
ORIGINAL THOUGHT:
A = Client says “You are too expensive”
B = My work is not worth it / I am not worth it
C = Charges less, feels less confident, unsure about capabilities, unsure of value, quits
NEW THOUGHT:
A = Client says “You are too expensive”
B = I price myself based on my value. I am not in everyone’s price range and that is okay. There will always be people who think I am too expensive regardless of what I charge.
C = Confidence in value, markets with passion, can speak about the value with ease
2. CLIENT SHOWED UP FOR AN APPOINTMENT I FORGOT
ORIGINAL THOUGHT:
A = Client showed up and I forgot
B = I failed. I am not good enough.
C = Feels bad, doubts ability to run a business,
becomes people pleaser to make up for it, shame
NEW THOUGHT:
A = Client showed up and I forgot
B = I made a mistake and that is okay.
C = Apologizes and reschedules client, looks at context to see what happened so as to ensure it doesn’t happen again,
increased customer service for future clients
3. NO ONE IS BOOKING
ORIGINAL THOUGHT:
A = No inquiries coming in
B = Nobody likes me. My work isn’t valued. I’m not valued.
C = Feels depressed, stops trying, takes any job that comes along,
feels embarassed/shame
NEW THOUGHT:
A = No inquiries coming in
B = There could be a multitude of different reasons for no inquiries coming in
C = Does a website audit to ensure form is working, tries new methods of marketing,
changes approach to speaking about what you are selling/offering,
continues to work while tweaking different things along the way to see what sticks
4. CLIENT DOESN’T LIKE THEIR PHOTOS
ORIGINAL THOUGHT:
A = Client doesn’t like their photos
B = I failed. My work is trash. I am trash.
C = Lack of confidence, remorse for time spent, feels bad, unsure about next shoots, avoids reveals or feels anxious, second guesses talent
NEW THOUGHT:
A = Client doesn’t like their photos
B = There are many reasons why they may not like their photos
C = Digs deeper to find out what specifically they don’t like, creates new processes/expectations for clients to help them move through their feelings of seeing images of themselves, very confident about style/expectations
5. COLLEAGUE HAS A SUCCESS
ORIGINAL THOUGHT:
A = Colleague (or person in FB group) has a success
B = I will never get what they have.
C = Lack of confidence, lack of belief in self, stops trying, stops before starting,
looks for evidence to support it, negative towards them (usually behind their back)
NEW THOUGHT:
A = Colleague (or person in FB group) has a success
B = Their success has nothing to do with mine.
C = Continues to focus on personal journey, applauds & supports them, lifts them up, happy
The beliefs we have in regards to certain situations are already deep within us - the situations just bring them up to the surface.
The person didn’t make you feel that way.
The situation didn’t make you feel that way.
Your THOUGHT made you feel that way.
And there is nothing wrong to feeling how you feel.
The problem comes when you start COMPLAINING about how you feel.
Or WISHING things to be different.
In order for the consequence to change, the belief MUST change.
