Blocks: The Ever Elusive Health Goal: Pt 2
In this post we want to look at expanding our idea of what health means. We have been sold a very specific way it should look, but as someone who “looked” healthy, I was the furthest thing from it as my heart had palpitations, I lost my period and my eyelids fluttered in the night…and I was only 21. We need to examine what we’ve been taught and explore what could be in order to achieve optimal health as it looks to us individually, understanding that health is not a pre-requisite to love and respect.
EXPAND YOUR IDEA OF HEALTH
I can’t stress enough the importance of diversifying the visuals that “motivate” you to be healthy. We look at people and consider them to be #bodygoals but the reality is, you already ARE body goals because you have a body. Follow people on social media or read books by people who are not the traditional bodies we see in the fitness industry to understand that there is not a one size fits all approach and that everyone is on their own journey. Your motivation is yours and no one else’s. A lot of the blocks that get in our way is the idea of “I could never do that because I am too big” or “I definitely can’t do that because I am not strong enough” or “some bullshit is making me think I can’t” There are some incredible people out there doing the things that you desire to be doing. However you identify your body/self + the desired activity = the hashtag to find what you are looking for or the google search topic you want. You are not alone and there are so many people doing cool shit all the time. For example, when I told myself I couldn’t take ballet, I searched “Plus size ballerina” or “fat ballet” to see what would come up and there were so many examples! This made me realize I could (and DID) do it!
Self Compassion Is Key
Breaking through any blocks is tough, but for some reason the ones tied so tightly to body image, mental health, stress, and diet culture tend to make us feel immense amounts of shame. When we don’t work out as hard “as we could have” we hear the mantras of “NO PAIN NO GAIN” etc. rebounding in our skulls. When we eat a box of mini chocolate bars because they were just sitting there, we find ourselves going back and forth between “Should I just throw it all up like it never happened” or “I guess the diet will start tomorrow”. When we are working on deadlines and saying yes to more things, we think “As soon as this XYZ is done, THEN I will be able to rest.” Our society has created a culture that thrives on overwork and the perception of willpower in all areas of our life and when we fall away from those, we are bathed in shame and guilt.
I encourage you to have self compassion as you go on this journey to finding out what health looks like to you. Compassion allows for curiousity which in turn allows for exploration and discovery. If we go into it with shame and guilt, we’ve stopped before we’ve even started. Here are a few questions you can turn to in times that you feel you have “messed up” your routine/plan?
Why do I feel shame/guilt for this?
Followed by: And what does that mean?
Are these thoughts of failure helping me to fulfill my version of success?
Followed by: What steps can I take next to help me refocus?
What is the context surrounding this misstep towards my destination?
Followed by: Is it possible my priorities have shifted? And if so, that’s totally human.
Be Realistic
When it comes to health, again, we have all these great visions for what will happen if we just eat more veggies, exercise more, sleep more, etc. but to be honest, it looks different on everyone. You want to make sure that as you strive for health, that you are understanding that it is a forever game and not a one shot deal. True health, however YOU define it, has to be something sustainable and for it to be sustainable it must involve realistic action.
Acknowledge your starting point:
The thing that frustrated me was thinking my strength was at the same spot it was when I was 24 and working out 6 hours a day. This set me up for failure before I even started. Once I acknowledged my starting point in all areas, it was easier to create a strategy for moving towards the destination.
2. Don’t overdo it
If I had a dollar for every time my husband would go to the gym with me and then be out of commission because he pushed himself too hard I would be rich. This is why it’s not sustainable for him, because he thinks he has to go balls to the wall at the beginning. Just like the tortoise, slow and steady will win this race that has no finish line.
3. You won’t look like the others
The amount of women I’ve seen come through my studio upset that, despite losing all the weight, eating all the things they were told, drinking all the water, etc., they still did not “look like” the instagram model, the magazine model, etc. You will always be you and your body will always be changing. There is no BEFORE and AFTER in terms of your body (aside from your sonogram and the picture of the day you die).
4. Health and beauty are 2 different things
This is a VERY important expectation for you to set with yourself. Beauty standards were set up for you to fail, health is, at the core, a very individualized experience. Be clear on whether or not you are trying to see yourself as beautiful or if you are truly trying to be healthy - because at the end of the day, health has no size, no skin texture, no hair length, etc. This might mean, that in order for you to be truly healthy, you MIGHT gain weight and you have to be okay with understanding that your body gonna do what your body gonna do to maintain equilibrium. Your body doesn’t care about beauty standards. Your body’s only job is to keep you alive in whatever way that it can - and this looks different on every one!
