We Learn Through Action, Not Just Thinking
I recently saw something that said:
“You don’t learn to swim by reading about it.”
And this got me thinking about the way we try to learn about body image & self confidence. I think when we were given the biggest resource of information, we learned how to intellectualize all of our feelings, trauma, and experiences. We learned that if we just listened to a podcast, read a book, or signed up for a course - we would get the results we are looking for. But I’ve come to understand that something is missing in this space and that is the “application” phase.
And most of us avoid the application phase because it can be:
awkward
uncomfortable
frustrating
difficult
“not perfect”
I’ve bought book after book on a subject, hoping that it would “fix” my money mindset, my attachment to being “good”, etc. I’ve purchased courses upon courses on how to be better at Youtube, Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, etc. I’ve attended conferences and workshops and left inspired. But when I didn’t take action on any of those things? All the knowledge got packed up and shoved away. So many times over I decided it would be more comfortable for me to just keep doing things the way I’ve always done them (even when they weren’t working for me) instead of doing the uncomfortable thing and just TRY the things I was learning. The ego gets SO wrapped up in trying something different.
David Kolb’s Learning Styles Theory breaks it down into 4 stages:
Concrete Experience
(life experience, reading a book, listening to a speaker, etc.)
Reflective Observation
(Observing the experience & percolating on it)
Abstract Conceptualization
(connecting this information to previously learned information)
Active Experimentation
(Applying what you have learned)
So for body image this might look like:
Concrete Experience:
Read my book The Geode Theory: Chipping Away at Body Image
Reflective Observation:
Reflecting on how my life resembles your own. Observing the steps that I took to find self & body acceptance.
Abstract Conceptualization:
Thinking about how the stories, experiences, and skill sets I talk about in the book would show up in your own lived experience.
Active Experimentation:
Applying the information/skills in your day to day life, eventually embodying them without even thinking about it.
Personally, I tend to end a lot of my learning at ABSTRACT CONCEPTUALIZATION and I think I’m not alone. We love to dream and wish for the outcome we want without actually taking that first step through active experimentation to get there because up until that point everything is just…theory and you don’t have to “look stupid” or “feel uncomfortable.”
Without the active experimentation phase, we don’t fully learn. This is why when we used to cram for exams we could squeeze out the answers the next day, but a week later couldn’t recollect any of the “knowledge” we had gained in University (and paid for!!!) - we didn’t truly LEARN anything at all (aside from maybe don’t wait until the night before to study and stress yourself out).
And here’s the kicker: nobody can do the active experimentation phase for you. You are the one that has to step out of the comfort zone.
I can teach you all day, every day. I can write the words, give you the instructions & guidance, encourage you - but ultimately, until you decide to step over the edge of the comfort zone, it’s all moot. YOU have to take the step. I have to take my step. But this is also where confidence comes from. When we truly learn something new. When we create a new neural pathway. When we push past our default and try something different.
This is also why I want to take more of a hands ON approach to my education going forward. While, again, I can’t do the work for you - the accountability of a teacher being present tends to help. Showing up to class and having experiences and AHAs! during the class exercises will help cement the knowledge so when you are out and about in the real world, activating the knowledge is much, much easier.
The move to self-paced courses sounded like a good one. But the reality is, humans are not motivated to act on things until the pain of staying the same is WORSE than the pain of change and for many of us, that takes longer than the course or book we’ve purchased. And, if you are like me, you probably just want to get to the end because the promises are so sweet - but the importance is the activation of the knowledge. So, we consume the content as quickly as possible hoping that our lives will be magically changed without truly thinking through if we (and our nervous systems) are READY to take action. As much as I want everyone to sign up for my courses, I know not everyone is ready for TERI. Some people see the liberation and freedom I experience as someone who no longer lets body insecurity get in the way of me living my life (not the same as not experiencing it at all, btw - it still happens and it will…forever - it just doesn’t stop me from living my glorious life) and so they jump at the chance to learn from me, but when it comes time to challenge their old beliefs, create new ones, activate in the form of applying the techniques and skills we’ve practiced outside of the oasis of class, they sometimes feel like they are in over their head and might default back to their old ways. BUT for those that are in the phase of being ready to take action, just unsure of what that action will look like? THOSE are my people. They will be ready for TERI. They will be ready to face the squidge.
