Things I Do to Reinforce My Love For Myself

That is a mouthful of a post title but it gets the job done. I am excited to share with you 5 things that I have started doing daily that have remind me that I am worth my time and attention. Up until 2019 I gave all my time and attention to my business and other people. I would bend over backwards to take care of their needs, drop my own things, and jump at the chance to reschedule my life to make theirs easier. In doing that, I ended up hitting peak burnout AND becoming bitter about those relationships - but I had no one to blame but myself. I started implementing some basic self care rituals and I try to do them daily - as a neurodivergent human who gets bored easily I can’t have a strict schedule, but I give myself grace by having a list of things to choose from to spend my time on - as long as that time is dedicated to me. I have found this is the best way for me to fulfill my needs and set boundaries with others. Sometimes Past Teri(tm) will usurp present day Teri by giving into wanting to be liked, but I’m much better than I used to be. Here are the things that I like to spend my time and money on to improve my self care:

A membership to To Be Magnetic
Just like this membership, I realized I needed an intentional learning space and TBM has been wonderful for me. My friend and woo-woo curator, Libby introduced me to TBM and I haven’t looked back. I have a hard time meditating and have found that TBM’s hypnosis-theta state-meditations allow me to tap in my subconscious in ways that I never could before. I love that their content is always high level and I appreciate their podcast to help me expand my mind to the abundance that is in the world, just waiting to be mine. I am currently taking part in their Unblocking Challenge - but I try to do meditation at least 3-4 times a week, if not daily.

Plants
After learning that looking at nature reduces stress by 33%, I realized I should get over my story that I kill everything I try to take care of. I started hoarding plants around the pandemic like most people, but have found such joy in a)keeping them alive and b)chatting with them in the morning as I get ready for my day. I like to check on them and see how their “babies” are coming along and to give them a little spritz of water. I also love how they reach for the sun in the morning. They seem to appreciate the light in my bathroom, so it’s pleasant when I pee or take a bath - haha!

Daily Walk Outside
This is one of the biggest changes I made to my life as an entrepreneur. I was making 0 time for my physical health and my mental health. I started walking daily and even though it was painful (when you haven’t moved your body in a hot minute, she lets you know), I kept at it and soon my ankles, shins, and body adapted. The important thing with my daily walk is that I don’t give myself a time limit or a certain distance. I simply say “We are going outside” and sometimes that is 1 block around the condo or 4. Sometimes it is a trek to the park or to the river. I just let my mind and body wander as long and as far as they need to until it’s time to come home. I try to do this first thing in the morning and again, in the afternoon after sitting at my desk so much. It’s fun because even though I tend to stick to the same path, things are never the same and I always find some fun things - like duckies, painted rocks, people’s clothes, or a coven of magpies. Sometimes I will listen to podcasts and other times I will go sans sound.

2 Cups of Coffee
Every day I like to have 2 cups of coffee particularly in mugs that bring me joy. I love coffee mugs that remind me of things that I love and I romanticize the act of drinking black coffee out of a titty mug. But in all seriousness, I enjoy the habit of drinking coffee while I write or read in the morning and it gives me a bit of time before I have to talk to humans in person. My favorite mugs come from: @eatmielies , Society 6, and my lovely friends!

Dance/Self Portraits
While I don’t do self portraits every day anymore, I still do them 3-4 times a week. When I am not doing self portraits, I still do little bouts of dancing and listening to music that gets me out of my head and into my body. This is really important for me because, despite doing all this body image work for others, I had become so disconnected from my own body and its joy of movement. As such, I started some online dance classes - both to help my self portraits, but also to lose myself in the music as Eminem says. Even if it’s just 1 3 minute song a day, I take time to shake what my mama gave me. Here’s my current favorite playlist!

Spending Time Naked
Every day I spend a fair amount of time with my nudie self. Whether it’s during self portraits or just working on my computer - I make sure to let my skin breathe and my body exist without being constricted by clothes. Being naked has helped me become more comfortable and connected to my body - plus, when you find that nice patch of sunlight, curling up on the bed being nudie judy makes you feel like a goddess (and a cat - but aren’t they the same??). I just recommend having “door pants” or a “door dress” nearby when packages are being delivered!

Journaling
Journaling and art journaling is something I ebb and flow on - but when I do it, it brings me peace and allows me to get things out of my mind and heart and onto the page. Getting messy and just seeing where my mind takes my hands is always a delight, but I am able to use this process to confront my fears, concerns, stressors, and emotions with no pressure. What comes out needs to come out. I use mixed media sketchbooks from Indigo to create my art on and I use a variety of different paints, collage materials, and pens. Whatever I can find! I use this also in conjunction with the TBM work since they have great questions for you to percolate on both pre and post dropping in to a meditation, so having journals gives me space to explore.

While my list of things may seem lackluster to you OR you may think it’s not possible for you - the point of this post is to give you a few things:

1) Permission to spend time with yourself - why is everyone else entitled to your time, but you aren’t?
2) Ideas on things that might take you towards the things that bring you absolute joy, bliss, and pleasure!

While your day is going to look vastly different than mine, the key is to finding things that light you up, fill up your cup, and serve yourself even if they benefit no one else. We can’t expect other people to give us our time back and to do these things for us, because the reality is - they won’t. They have to worry about themselves! Doing things for yourself will making setting boundaries and standards for the people you surround yourself with, much easier. You can’t handle me taking 2 hours of MY time to do things for me? Sorry, you aren’t the one. You don’t like that I talk to plants or make a mess with my art? Good day, sir. Awww, you get upset that I don’t need you to tell me I’m amazing because I already believe it myself? It’s unfortunate you feel that way.

Learn to love being with yourself - you deserve it.