The Importance of Support
The other day was going to be my last day in the studio and while whatever work was left, I knew I could do alone, I asked my husband and best friend to come with me. While having them there helped make the work go faster, it also helped me feel supported in the decision I was making. Things look the scariest right before you jump off the cliff - I haven’t handed in my keys yet. I can still change my mind.
Having people there for support, if for nothing else, when you make hard moves in your life is really, really important and I know, I know….you might be a strong independent person who don’t need no one, but listen - you do. Even just 1 other person to help you, to remind you that you are supported EVEN IF your decisions cause things to go to complete shit.
Ryan and Jill were the same 2 people that came with me when I made the decision to take on a studio that was 10X the rent of my previous studio. They were the same ones that watched me light up with joy as I ran around the empty room - excited about the possibilities of what the space could offer and then yesterday, they watched me walk around the room talking about memories of every nail, pillar, wall, experience that the space provided. Jill was with me throughout my growth at the studio, so she was also sharing some of her memories of our time there and it was really beautiful to hear what that space had created for someone else, other than me and my clients.
When you read this, I will have given my keys back and advised them that I A)lost like 7 sets of keys and B)am willing to let me damage deposit go because there are just so many nail holes in the walls and I most certainly am not going to paint. It’s going to feel weird. I won’t have an excuse to go downtown anymore (this is both good and bad). I won’t have a space to run to when I feel claustrophobic in my house. I won’t have beautiful sunsets over the city and I won’t have glorious pools of light in the afternoon.
But what I will have is what I created there.
The memories that I shared with so many people.
That space couldn’t have been what it was without the people.
Myself and the space were a support for others and Jill and Ryan were the support for me.
We all need support in some capacity.
Making changes and going through transitions isn’t easy and I know, you are probably like me, and will “just do them yourself” because it’s easier. It feels like it’s less painful. It feels like brooding. I remember that feeling when I was packing a truck to move out of my childhood home to university - I didn’t want anyone to know what I was actually feeling. I wouldn’t let anyone help and I was bitter at people - but I was the one choosing to leave. I didn’t know how to ask for support.
What I saw, though, when I asked Jill to come help me - even though it was super last minute - she didn’t even hesitate to show up for me. I don’t know if she will ever know what that meant to me - she didn’t make me feel like I was being inconvenient or asking too much (even though my brain tried to convince me that’s what would happen). She said “I’ll come straight after work”. And she was there.
If I were to assign an analogy to where I’m at in this transitional process, it would be akin to a marathon runner on that last stretch where they can see the finish line, but their legs are feeling like gelatin and they know it would be easier if they just didn’t cross the line. But then we see other folks come up and slip their arms around them - giving them the ability to keep moving forward, but with a little more ease and momentum than if they had collapsed under the pressure of the run. And you know damn well there’s never a dry eye in the house when we see people helping each other - so we need to start asking for help more.
Again, let me reiterate - you don’t need A LOT of people. You just need the one or two that will drop whatever they are doing to help you get through the tough times in your life.
Let people support you this week, this month, this year.
Just reach out and ask.
If they say no - they might not be the ones.
If they say yes - you know they are the ones.
