At the beginning of September I looked at my calendar for the rest of the year and realized that it was relatively easygoing - fast forward a week in and I get a message from Sue Bryce asking me to come down and play at the Portrait Masters Shootout in Arizona the first week of October. Without thinking I rescheduled some things (thanks, lovely clients!) and booked out the week and a bit to be there. I looked at my calendar again - WHAT? I would only have from the 10th - 16th before I would be taking off for Body Image Bootcamp in Mexico? Suddenly, my easy going rest of the year seemed to book up REALLY quick. I also realized that for everything I was going to be doing in October, it was going to be with groups of people - so I knew I had to fill up my tank as much as possible before I took off.

I went back to my calendar to see what the rest of September held for me and I realized I had booked off 3 days to make sure I was available to help babysit because my sister was supposed to be going on a trip with my mom - however, their trip fell through but I still had these 3 days booked off. I decided to take advantage and book my little retreat to get a small bit of Teri time before I would be with groups of humans.

I recognize the extreme privilege I have in being able to take time away when I want, but I also have to state that I have built this into my business. In order for me to be the best at what I want to do, I need to show up for myself - that looks like a savings dedicated to my retreats, that looks like a book fund to support my love of learning, and that looks like time blocked out just for me. I’ve spent most of my life giving away everything and anything and up until last year, I never noticed just how much it drained the soul out of me. These self retreats are my way of showing up for myself when I give 3/4 weeks to the world. It’s what I need to ensure I am able to be the person I want to be in the world and it’s what I require to be successful in ways that I want to be successful.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because if you follow me, you probably see yourself in me in some capacity and therefore you might also be a giver, a dependable, an empath. Which means you haven’t learned how to take for yourself and seeing someone take for themselves can make you feel squidgy, uncomfortable and possibly even think that I am selfish, privileged, and “well of course, yoooooou caaaaaan….”

So I am trying to normalize the taking back of time. I am trying to make it a common practice to care for yourself so you can care for others. I am trying to break the system that says we have to work, work, work, give, give, give to be valuable. And I am doing that by role modelling. I want you to see that not only is it okay for you to take time out, invest in, and do things just. for. you. It is a necessity for you to find joy and keep the pendulum from swaying all willy nilly and to keep you from burning out, while everyone else is set aflame. Connection with yourself is integral to self esteem, confidence and value - but if you don’t/can’t take time to foster it then it will always be a wish, a want, a desire.

Now, I get it -

YOU DON’T HAVE TIME.

Yes, you do.
You just give it away.
To your kids.
To your spouse.
To your clients.
To your pets.
To your parents.
To your siblings.
To your friends.

It’s not that you DON’T have time - it’s that you just prioritize it differently.

So reshape the story.

Can you find 1 hour a day that’s just yours?
What would happen if you did?
What would it mean if you spent an hour on yourself?
What would it mean if you did whatever the fuck you wanted in that hour?
What would it mean if you didn’t spend that hour with your kids?
What would it mean if you didn’t spend that hour working on your business?
What would it mean?
Who would you become if you focused on yourself?
Would you be a bad mother?
A bad partner?
A bad business person?
A selfish person?
A takee?
A bad person?
Why does everyone else deserve your time but not you?
What are you afraid of if you were to spend time with yourself, alone?
What thoughts are you afraid of hearing?
What solutions are you afraid of exploring?
What personal responsibility are you avoiding?
What ideas are you afraid of tapping into?

Chances are good that if you have a hard time asking for YOUR time for you, then you have a hard time asking for A LOT of your needs to be met.
Now, I get it - change is hard and doing things differently is terrifying - but I am here to challenge you to consider the “What ifs”

What if it felt good to take time for yourself?
What if it made you a better mother, partner, business person, etc. to take time for yourself?
What if you enjoyed connecting to and realizing you have the answers to your big questions?

So, before you retreat, just start considering what is surrounding your feelings to the idea of retreating.

Then, when and if you are ready to make the leap, there is 10000 different ways you can retreat.
For me, it looks like saving up my hours and taking 3-5 days off a month to be alone with myself - other than that I am on 24/7.
It might look like saving up for a 2 week long vacation by yourself in a castle in Ireland.
It might look like grabbing 20 minutes a day, every day.
It might look like taking 3 hours every week just for you.
It might look like going on a week long hike somewhere in the mountains.

Whatever it looks like, it is you with you for you.

Because if you don’t, you will lose connection with YOU. You will start to see yourself as an extension of the people around you and their feelings will become your feelings and their treatment of you will become your truth for you and when that goes away……you’ll go away.

It doesn’t matter what it looks like, what matters is that you are saying:

”I’m doing this for ME. Because I am just as much worth my time as everyone else.”

Here’s my “recipe” for my retreats (yours might look different, these are things that help me connect to my higher self)

Comfort food and foods that only I like
All the reading I say I “want” to do at home, but never do
2 journals - 1 for scribbling ideas, 1 for dumping and exploring thoughts
Comfy clothing - sweats, tshirts, tank tops, mumus are my jam
An inviting space with inspiring light that wakes me up
Nature, either to look at or go into
Art journal materials
A handsy craft - this time I took a denim jacket that I am hand beading
Airplane mode on the cellphone
No internet
No Shoulding : nap when I want to, eat when I want to, drink what I want to, when I want to, take edibles if I want to, sleep in if I want to, go to bed early if I want to, etc.