Maybe You Aren’t Failing

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Fellow Creatives:

Maybe you aren’t failing.
Maybe you are just fucking up.

And that is a good thing.
Do you know how many people do not take a chance on something that gives them the opportunity to fuck up, just because they are scared?
Do you know how boldly you must be living in order to feel scared that something will be lost?
The fact that you are AFRAID that you might be failing is a sure sign that you have something worth fighting for.

I believe that failure was a word created to keep us in line

Keep us caged

Keep us attached to NEEDING the status quo

Don’t you find it odd that in our school system we only had two options:

PASS OR FAIL

We are taught from the age of 5 and onward that our worthiness and value is predicated on an arbitrary measurement of scholastic achievement as decided by the higher ups. And, you probably know as well as I, that people are not inherently worse or better at being human simply because they passed or failed an exam.

Trust me. The fact that students learn to cheat to pass a test is enough for us to realize this pass or fail system is bullshit. Because if they actually wanted us to learn and to be educated, then we would be encouraged to ask questions, to fuck up, to employ critical thinking - but instead, we are taught only to regurgitate what is being taught.

And maybe this is snowflakey of me, but I think if there were unlimited opportunities to fuck up and try again without shame, humiliation, and disappointment attached to it - we might be able to grow into adults that aren’t afraid to try the things that scare us.

So, the next time you think are failing I want you to ask yourself “By who’s definition?”

And maybe failing isn’t failure

Maybe it’s falling, landing, and getting back up again.
Maybe it’s pivoting.
Maybe it’s changing.
Maybe it’s trying something new.
Maybe it’s starting again.
Maybe it’s fucking up, learning, and trying again.
Maybe it’s letting go of something that isn’t serving you to make room for something that will.
Maybe it’s simply collecting the tools you need at this stage of your life for something later on down the road.

The first time I tried to do a front handspring I fell on my back and winded myself while my peers laughed at me.
I was humiliated and in pain.
I wanted to lick my wounds and never try again, but my martial arts master told me

“Teri, you must chun practice”

Chun means 1000 in Korean.
He was telling me I needed to practice 1000 times before I would get it.
So, I went back again.
And again.
And again.
By the 50th time of falling, most people would think that I had failed.
I had to decide if it is was important enough to me to keep trying and so I did,
every time adapting, tweaking, and getting stronger
And eventually I landed it.

Had I stopped when most people told me to, I never would have known that I COULD do it.
All those times falling, weren’t failing, they were simply fuck ups to prepare me for what was next.

The only way you can truly fail is by telling yourself you did.

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