I know where I’m going, but I still get lost.

Some days I see nothing but the destination
and so the journey feels easy.
But eventually, the wind starts to kick up dirt

and the dust causes me to turn my head
catching a glimpse of what looks to be a different path
it appears to be less windy over there

I stop
No longer moving forward
Not moving backwards either
But definitely not forward

I keep glancing to the side
to the other path

“No. That isn’t for you.”
says a voice from within,
shaking me from my transfixed state.
I start moving again.

Thinking the voice won’t notice,
I shift my eyes to the left
Just to see, I tell myself.

So I keep walking.

Two steps

Glance

Two more steps

Glance

Two more steps

Glance

This repeats for hours

Suddenly, my foot slips on the loose gravel
and I fall to my knees,
Blood seeping through my skin

“I must be close to my destination. I’ve been walking for hours,” I whine.
I stand up, dust off and look around.
”Wait a minute. This isn’t right,” I think.
”Where am I?”

“Look at your map” says the voice

I realize I have gotten significantly off course.

I’ve veered to the left.

“But how…?” I ask.

“Your body goes where your eyes go. Were you looking somewhere else?” asks the voice.

“Well, not really.

Only sometimes.

Okay, maybe a bit…”

I trail off, the sting of a bruised ego hurting more than the rocks that dug into my knees.

“Again, that path isn’t for you. ”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes,
coming to the realization that it will take me twice as long to get back to my original destination now.

I have to decide
what is right for me
or to give in
to all that is left.

I restart my trek.

The wind blows again.

This time I put my head down, instead of to the side.

Two steps forward.

Two more steps forward.

Head down, focus on what’s in front.

I must stay focused on my destination.