Go Where You Glow
“Go Where You Glow”
This has been a saying I’ve been using as a mantra for the past year to keep myself focused on what is, instead of what isn’t. I may have even used it in a past post, either on here or on social media, I’m not sure, but at this juncture it deserves it’s own post. You see, for the past 2 weeks I’ve been putting this to the ultimate test - putting myself in spaces & places where I glow (and taking myself out of spaces & places where I don’t). I want to share with you what I have done and the impacts of those choices because it may inspire you to start focusing on your glow as well.
Bye, Bye, Social Media
Sept 1 I logged out of instagram and took the app off my phone. This was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the most impactful. For the past 2 months I’ve had SEVERE heartburn and as soon as I took instagram off my phone it’s stopped (except for when I ate red onions the other day by accident.) I have been feeling less & less excited about the prospect of being on social media and I decided on a whim to focus my attention somewhere else “just to see” what would happen. So, the energy I reserve for daily posts on instagram has now been channeled into more intentional creation for my patreon Reform School for Good Girls, the building of The ACE Method Lab, creating a course for Photowoah, helping my mom write her book, and dreaming of the world I want to create, unencumbered by the constant horrors I was seeing online. Now, I will say that in lieu of instagram, I did pop onto tiktok for short bursts, but I get bored really fast over there and had this epiphany one day, thinking “I can literally scroll forever and it will never end.” Not only has my anxiety reduced, but I also realized a lot of my thoughts around what I’m NOT doing have gone away, only to be replaced with creativity, playfulness, and what I CAN do. There are parts of instagram I certainly miss - like connecting with people easily through DMs, but I also want more intentional connection with people in my world. The people that do read & respond to newsletters, the folks that join the Patreon & intentionally check in, the ones that read the blog, that look forward to doing in person things, the folks that would rather just drop memes into a group chat, etc. So, will I go back to instagram? At this point…I don’t know that I will.
Part of going where I glow has been recognizing where I don’t and lately, instagram just feels flat, false, and boring as hell. And as a manifesting generator, I gotta trust this energy of mine and be okay to pivot whence the energy leaves and see if I can follow it to the other spaces that currently light me up: Patreon, the blog, creating youtube videos, workshops (online & in person), etc.
2. Hello, Fiction!
I have been reading fiction like I eat candy - a lot. I used to be an avid reader from the time I was a kid, then when I was wanting to focus on building my business I thought it was more superior if I only read self development books or books on neuroscience and psychology. Then, I found myself reading a book by Amie Mcknee (Regrettably, I’m About to Cause Trouble") about a witch and I was hooked. It was like that part of my brain woke up - the part that loves to get lost in another world of historical fiction featuring strong rebellious women (usually witchy in some capacity). Reading these types of books have been so good for my brain, my mental health, and just my overall enjoyment of life. They have helped give me expanders for my journey to becoming a certified Wood Witch. Because I have been reading more, it was easier to replace my phone addiction with a book. Plus, I can feel my attention span increasing again. (Thank god, it was getting reeeeeal short for awhile). Also, I remember reading a study that said folks that read fiction tend to have higher empathy and that’s exactly what the world needs more of right now - so you could say I’m doing my part for humanity.
3. Routinely journaling
Almost daily journaling has helped me to see patterns of glowiness and to see what takes it away. In fact, in my last journal pretty much for 2 weeks it was a constant ode to my garden, my wildflowers, my roses, and glorious sparkle that floods the backyard through the willow trees in the morning. Because I kept writing about that, I kept showing up there because it was so magical and the more I wrote about it being magical, the more magical it became! I also noticed when I look back at my journal from last year that I am repeating a similar pattern with money that drains me and since not much has changed since a year, it was a good awareness to take a look and see why. I was able to uncover the pattern that I buy when I’m bored. For me, there’s a VERY clear link between food + money. I eat when I’m bored, I buy when I’m bored. I binge on both when I have feelings that I think are “bad”. I abstain from both (in a non-restrictive way) when I’m in my glow zone because I’m fulfilled from the inside out. Journaling through this epiphany and looking at past journal entries have helped me to see where & when to flow.
4. Connect with my bod
My bod’s the beautiful creature that lets me know where the glow is in the first place. To learn what glowy feels like to you, I want you to think about the last time you did something that just left you feeling so content, so at peace, so in your zone, so in your flow, etc. Picture it in detail. What were you doing? What were you wearing? Who else was there? Where was this happening? etc. As you remember that moment, I want you to bring your attention to your body - where do you feel it? Is there warmth in your chest? Is there a swell of emotion in your throat? Is there a tingly on your skin? Once you know how it feels when it feels good, pay attention throughout your day to see if you experience any little bit of that and then fill in the context for that: what were you doing? what were you wearing? what was happening? Similarly, my bod tells me when I’m in a not so glowy space. I feel tightness in my chest, rigid in my muscles, I bite my lip & nails, I twirl my hair anxiously, I feel the pain in my body from old injuries, etc. It’s kinda like playing hot & cold with your body, haha!
5. I don’t always initially like everything that makes me glowy
This was kind of an awareness I had to develop. There are certain things my brain would just rather not do, but the end result is glowy af. Things like working out (which we call Law & Order time), cleaning my house (which I am in love with a vacuumed rug), or doing the dishes (I love when the kitchen is empty). The doing isn’t as glowy, though I try to make it enjoyable with music, movies, or otherwise, but I also just stay focused on the end result of those things. Sometimes it’s even little things like brushing my teeth, getting dressed in nice clothes, or meditating. The thought of doing those things is relatively neutral, but once I do them I glow like there’s no tomorrow. This helps me to do them, even when I don’t necessarily want to.
6. Curating my people
So, this is both limiting people and letting people in. Let me explain. As a recovered people-pleaser I wanted to give everyone access to me for fear that they would think I was snobby, too cliquey, or mean, but as an empath, this came with me being completely over stimulated and carrying everyone’s stuff. I’ve had to learn to discern who gets access to me and how, which means I’ve had to paywall some things, while making other things more accessible. In contrast to that, because I love to spend time alone I could go a long time before really seeing anyone aside from my husband, so I’ve had to make it a point to connect with my inner circle at least once a week (at least reach out to see if it’s possible), go out of the home every 2-3 days to be around people and have general chit chat with strangers, and then try to do events a few times a month where I purposefully interact with other people at the event. Also, going to events I want to and saying no to the ones I don’t has also been important - for example, Train Days was on at Heritage Park here in Calgary and my husband loves train stuff - while he went to check out engine things and see how everything worked I laid on the grass and watched the clouds. Or when we went to the Metric concert it was a bit too overstimulating with the lights, fog, sound, and people, so I went and read my book at the back of the venue while Ryan stayed up front and danced and sang. This allows me to come from a place of overflow, rather than giving whatever’s left in the bucket.
