Dear Future Me

I stumbled across the website dearfutureme.org a few years ago and since then I’ve been sending (and receiving) letters to (and from) myself and it is pretty cool. I learned about this idea in my Positive Psychology class and I really loved it (especially as someone who’s top Clifton Strength is futuristic) because it allowed me to envision what I wanted to accomplish within the next year and then work backwards from there to hopefully make it happen. The last few years have felt really slow and stagnant for me, mostly because I’m still in a state of limbo and God knows, I don’t have patience so I feel like I’m still floating a bit, but I received this letter from myself last week and it really helped to give me perspective and remind me why I am doing what I am doing. I wanted to share the letters I have written to myself over the past years so you can see how my mind/priorities/life has shifted.

Letter #1: Written in 2021, received in 2022

Dear FutureMe,

Right now I am struggling to know where to put my energy. I am trying to create momentum in introducing human ethics to the industry of boudoir photography, but it is HARD. People don't really care about this information until it is necessary, but I know this is super important so I will keep at it (At least for a year!). I also like that this platform I have created provides space for upcoming educators to get a start and I can help them with creating their content.

Your relationship with Ryan is going well and it is beautiful because you both let each other just be yourselves. I hope when you receive this that will still be going strong. I am finding that the longer we are together the deeper our love gets and that is glorious.

Currently I am spending a lot of time doing self discovery and it seems the further I go, the further I need to go which is frustrating but also kind of fun to see how much I can ACTUALLY control in my life (and releasing myself of the things I CANNOT control).

I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough, yet what is "enough"? I am learning that if I just show up in full form, ready to work, every day then I will be put in positions that allow me to fulfill that need. Sometimes I believe that, but other times I don't - and that's frustrating, but I will continue on.

When you get this letter you will be well on your way to owning your cabin out by Mom - I mean we only have 4 more months left in our studio lease so we best be working towards it!

When you receive this, you will probably be well on your way to writing your second book and it would be phenomenal if you could impact 500 people through your 1st book, your workshops, and your photoshoots. I don't think I will be traveling AS MUCH - but the travels I will be planning will be for my North American book tour and another round of Body Image Bootcamp workshops. Other than that, once I get my cabin I will be looking forward to hosting all of my events at my little event center so that I can create some really deep, profound healing experiences for my clients.

Keep dreaming, superstar. Keep changing lives!
See you soon! <3
XOXO
Teri

So, this first letter really shows the difficulties I was experiencing trying to be a visionary in the industry, but also the immense persistence. I did not end up buying a cabin, because it would be then that we would learn about Ryan’s job potentially moving to Calgary at some point. I am still looking forward to the day I can have a space in nature (even if it’s just a little she shack in a garden!). I think it’s cute how I am just getting started in my self development - IF ONLY I KNEEEEEW what was about to come, lol.

Letter #2: Written in 2022, Received in 2023

Dear FutureMe,
I am getting ready to head to Calgary today - Ryan and I will probably be moving there in 2024 and so we figured we would go scope it out. We also had plans to go with Mom, but unfortunately last month they found a tumor on her fallopian tube - we are still waiting to hear what the next steps are. It's been a month since she found out - so I hope they get their shit together.

I did not get my cabin and in a surprising turn of events I ended up keeping my studio for another year and will probably keep one of them for the next 2 years - possibly. I am trying to trust that process but jeeeeeepers, it is HARD! I hope when you read this, your second book is a success (it's underway in publishing atm) and I hope you have a lot of opportunities to speak and write to change people's lives. I know this education thing is fun for you - and I hope it continues to be because you are good at it - just be okay with whatever form it takes - remember: your medium is NOT your message <3

Since I last wrote, I became friends with Sue Bryce :O, spoke at WPPI (twice), and sold out my Empowerment for Everybody course 2 times (hopefully a 3rd coming up!!)

I have quite a few travel plans - Italy in June to teach beside SUE BRYCE (c'mon) follwed up by a week in Switzerland with Ryan, Alaska for a cruise with Ryan, Portland with my friends, Arizona for a conference, Utah for a photographer's retreat and then 3 weeks in Mexico for Body Image Bootcamp! At some point, I need to get to LA to have my awesome shoot done that was rescheduled due to Covid - but by the time you read this I hope they all went well!

Alright, here are some basic hopes for you since it will only be one year:
1) You will be doing photography for the right reason
2) You will be trusting the process and making waves with your words/work
3) You will have amended things with your brother so you can see your babies
4) Mom will be healed and moving on with her life
5) Ryan and I will be as good as ever
6) I will be working towards owning a she-shack property
7) Body Image Bootcamp will be happening a few times a year
8) Your Empowerment for Everybody course will still be going strong
9) Your 3rd book will be in the process of being published
10) You will keep doing the work: moving my body more, meditating more, resting more, and listening to my body and mind more

You are doing amazing, sweetie! Keep it up! <3

XOXO
Teri

First things first - Mom’s tumour was removed and it was completely unimpacting of her other bits so that was wonderful! I love the excitement I had for being pulled into Sue Bryce’s orbit and she would become a really great teacher for me (and still is) and more importantly, a friend and visionary that sees big stuff like I do. She’s a great role model and has created her Self Value and Content Curator courses which have been incredible to take part in. You can see I am waiting (not so) patiently for my she-shack, but in the meantime I’ve created quite the little haven out of our guest room full of plants, prisms, and twinkle lights. It’s pretty magical. For the most part my brother and I have made amends and even though we are two different people, we still love each other immensely and I crush him with love every time I see him. I did get 2200 Characters or Less published - yay! I also leaned hard into the healing (I believe that was my word for 2023 so that makes sense). I’m still trusting the process, story telling through written and spoke word alongside my photography. I like that in the first letter I was like “I’m gonna slow down on travel” and then in this one it’s like “LOOK AT EVERYWHERE I’M GOING!” hahaha - I still have to figure out when I’ll be okay to sit still (It might be never). Finally, here’s the latest letter to make its way into my inbox:

Dear FutureMe,

Hello you cutie! I'm currently sitting in a condo on the beach in Florida has Ryan and I prep for our cruise on Saturday (it's Monday).

Here are some things that have happened that I want you to remember:

You let go of your studios in July of 2022.
You said no to speaking at WPPI in 2023 because you needed to know you would be okay.
You got the artist development fund through Adobe and have been commissioned for another brief!

Right now, you are going through an unattachment period and moving yourself towards creating a LIFE more than just a business. It's been a really frustrating and scary time the last few months - unsure where money is coming from, uncertain about future desires, only knowing that I want to influence people with my creativity.

Despite the intense feelings of scarcity, you haven't been distracting from them which is really nice - I know it's been frustrating and difficult. You also realized that you feel guilty if work isn't hard. I believe you are going through an awakening right now, and like a phoenix you will flourish and do something with all of the things you are learning.

Now, as for what I hope for when you read this:

1) I hope that I've been given a lot of paid opportunities to share my message of mindset/self love/body image.

2) You will have finally made it through your money mindset and are able to start your next Geode Theory book: Chipping away at Money Mindset

3) You are in Calgary (or it's still on the table)

4) You are spending more time in nature and keeping up with your self care (daily walking, meditation, nutrition, writing, napping, deep breathing, etc.)

5) I am still traveling but being very aware of which trips to say yes to.

6) I'm enjoying slow living with bursts of momentum.

7) I am sharing my love for all things squidgy and mindsetty through various mediums/outlets

8) I am financially abundant.

9) I am helping other creative entrepreneurs find their authentic/true paths and liberating them from the constraints of hustle AND diet culture

10) I have healed my eczema and my hormone issues have been resolved.

11) I am certified in Human Design and are tapping deeply into your intuition and spirituality.

12) I'm doing something in the fashion industry - either uplifting other plus size designers, modeling, or photographing campaigns.

You are realizing you didn't need a plan. You just needed to trust your intuition - you knew what you were doing the whole time.

Xoxo

Teri

So, when I received this email from my past self I was reminded of just how squidgy the year prior had been for me and how much work I’ve done to alleviate those sensations and feelings of “not being good enough” or “unknowing”. While I haven’t accomplished everything on this list, it’s a good reminder of the things that I was interested in and maybe put on the back burner for other priorities so I can re-evaluate those. For example, I didn’t get my certification in Human Design, but it doesn’t stop me from talking about it or using the My Human Design app to help folks understand themselves better and I literally just ordered 5 books from Amazon about tapping into my witchy ways. My hormone issues and eczema haven’t been “resolved” but I think it may be something I have to endure for life, simply watching what causes flare ups and what not. I went to the Dr. and got my panels and everything looks top notch, so they said it’s pretty on par with someone with PCOS.

When I first read this list, I focused on what I DIDN’T have or what I DIDN’T do, but in looking at it again - for example, financial abundance - I am realizing that it depends on what your definition of abundant is and I never gave myself a specific number to achieve and in that case, I have enough money to buy groceries, I have money coming in from different revenue streams, my payments are coming in on time, I know that if I create something I’m super passionate about, money will come to me - in that sense, I AM financially abundant. On the subject of money, I haven’t made it “through” my money mindset, because like body image, I think it’s just something I have to fight through for a long time - I mean I believed a certain way for the last 38 years, so it’s going to take time and effort. I’ll keep at it.

I am not in Calgary, but the plan is that we will be heading there in the fall time sometime after Ryan completes his training for his new position. Once again, it’s my lack of patience getting in the way of me being able to “start” anything here. That being said, I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to speak and share my creativity with the world, whether from a stage or from Instagram - both have impacted folks and I love to see it. I just finished speaking at an epic conference here in Winnipeg and once again, I am reminded that I feel absolutely at home with a mic in my hand and an audience at my fingertips. The phrase “storyteller” is starting to become more connected than “speaker” these days.

And as far as the fashion industry goes - I’ve stopped supporting fast fashion brands and instead have poured a lot of time into learning how to sew my own pieces and supporting folks who have inclusive shops so that they can stay in business longer. I like the idea of modeling or doing campaigns, either photographing or being in them, so I am going to put myself out there a lot more in that regard in the coming years.

All in all, I’m pretty happy with the progress I’ve made internally - I feel calmer, more at peace, and more resolute in the hard decisions I made in the last year - so much so that it feels like it was “forever ago that I was up to my eyeballs in hustle culture. Now, I think I’ve swung the pendulum a little too far the other way (which is necessary) and now, it’s time to find my way back to the cyclical way of living that works for me. For example, since I was people-ing all day at the conference yesterday, today is a loose clothing, clean the house, read and write kinda day. Then tomorrow we get back on our shit.

I highly recommend using the dearfutureme.org website to send yourself a letter because who knows, it could be the thing that encourages you to take action.