Body Image Reset: Week 4
BODY CONFIDENCE
Week 4 is upon is which means only 1 more week to go after this! I wonder if anything is changing the way you see yourself, think of yourself or talk to yourself? I mean, it’s never going to be 100% perfect, but as long as we are actively striving then we are on the right track! This week’s focus is going to be looking at BODY CONFIDENCE. This is the idea that regardless of what your body looks like (and over your life, it’s going to look like a bajillion different versions) you can be confident within it. In order to do that, we need to start pushing our comfort zones just a little more - sure looking at ourselves in the private of our bathrooms is a good start, but now it’s time to take this bod of yours on a field trip! Body image is more based on how we perceive others perceiving our bodies than it is ourselves. Think about it - during the pandemic when we weren’t going out in public, many of us stopped wearing bras, shaving, waxing, getting our lips done, etc. Sure, some of the places were closed, but once things opened back up, many of us still stayed in the comfort of our homes and within that we were relatively comfortable in the way that our bodies kept us safe. It was when the thought of going back to work, seeing people in real life, etc. that people began to freak out about additional weight gain, their roots, their thick eyebrows, etc. In order to truly be body confident, we have to pay attention to what we think OTHER people are thinking about us - because to be honest, people aren’t really thinking about us at all.
DISCLAIMER: Some folks who exist in marginalized bodies truly are unsafe in their bodies because of our current culture. Feel free to take this practice and make it as bold or minimal as you feel safe doing.
The Steps:
Continue the practice from week 1, 2, & 3
Create an outfit that when you put it on (without looking at yourself) you FEEL confident in. Whatever it is. Just as soon as it’s on - you are like “YUP. I’M BAD ASS”
Plan a trip somewhere out of the house for you to wear said outfit. It could be the grocery store, the pharmacy, the park, the theater, the mall, wherever. You can also choose a time limit (I will spend 20 minutes in this outfit in public)
Without looking in the mirror, head out on your excursion.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITYIf wardrobe is out of the question, I want you to choose an activity that might make you a wee bit anxious about. For me, I used to avoid eating certain things in public until I realized that I was projecting my own fears onto what I assumed other people would thinking of me. Or when I’d do a physical activity I became aware that I was always thinking about what other people thought of “this fat body doing XYZ activity” - but again, chances were they weren’t thinking about me at all.
CURIOSITY
Use the following questions below and journal your answers. Continue with the same questions as week 1, and then add on the additional questions:
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
If you heard a 5 year old saying those things about their body - what would you tell them?
If you heard a 10 year old saying those things about their body - what would you say?
What do you wish your teenage self knew about their body?
What experiences did younger you go through that could have impacted the feeling of safety within your body? How can you reassure them that you are safe now?
How can you empower the younger version of you to see that they are more than just their body?
How does the thought of wearing your outfit/doing the activity make you feel in your body?
What anxieties do you have around the way your appearance appears to other folks?
What thoughts consumed you as you wore your outfit/ did your activity out of the house and in public? What were you aware of?
What fears did you have and did any of them actually come true?
What were you afraid people would say about you/find out about you wearing that outfit/doing that activity?
Have you heard those phrases/statements before? If so, from who? And when?
What is a thought you can have about your body that will help you feel more confident in your outfit/self?
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE FOR THE WEEK:
Continue doing your 20 minutes of looking at/touching your body and being curious about the outcome. Every day, I want you look at the things you say to yourself and imagine they are coming from a younger version of yourself and write out your rebuttal. Now, we are going to add on wearing/doing something slightly out of the comfort zone with your body IN PUBLIC. Do you notice any trends with how you think about your body vs. how you think others interpret your body?
At the end of the week, look at your journal entries and see if there are any trends/patterns.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
