Body Image Reset: Week 5
MOVING ON
Tis the final week and hopefully we are starting to see a shift in not just how you see yourself, but also, how you relate to your body and self. Our bodies are just our way of existing in the world and while some bodies experience oppression as a result of the way they look/function, we don’t need to add to that oppression ourselves. I remember being a kid that was bullied in school, but I knew as soon as I got home that I would be safe with myself hanging out in the forest or in the river. I learned to become my own safety and while there were times in high school and my 20s that I may have forgotten that, my body - my home- has always been there for me. While our bodies might physically stop us from doing certain things in a world that is not set up to accommodate or accept all bodies, our THOUGHTS about our bodies shouldn’t be adding to the barriers. In order to move on and truly reset our body image, we need to continue our daily practices. While we can take a step back from the daily consistency of looking at ourselves in the mirrors/photographs, etc. - I encourage you to carve out an intentional time for this practice once a week. Seeing ourselves throughout our life stages and in a variety of different ways of looking, we learn to not be afraid of ourselves - instead simply acknowledging that this is just what I look like at this moment - it’s not good or bad, it just is. Instead of steps, I am going to share a few of my favorite practices that you can create space and time for if shifting your body image is important to you.
The Practices:
Reading books about Body Image & the concept of beauty standards (check out my book The Geode Theory for starters!) Other favorites include: The Beauty Myth, Health at Every Size, Body Wars, & Fearing the Black Body
Making time to do self portraits (this is why I wanted you to have your camera) - get to know yourself from every possible angle and in fact, I encourage you to start with photographing yourself to see the things you are the most afraid of. You can apply the curiosity questions we used from Week 1 to work through what you are making those certain angles mean. If you want some tips on self portraits, I have a course here but I also have some tips for folks on my instagram here.
Pay attention to the things you think about yourself that are non-body comments. I realized that I would do anything to avoid being seen as lazy and would feel guilty if I wasn’t working because fat bodies are standardly associated with lazy.
Shut down body talk with friends, family, clients, etc. Folks socialized as women have learned to objectify ourselves and each others by complimenting each other on body related compliments -but it is harmful to reduce ourselves to our body parts, no matter how well intentioned. Instead, I encourage people around me to use non-body focused compliments (you look amazing! Your aura is glorious! You light up the room when you are here!) or compliment folks on things they CHOOSE: their style, their haircut, their jewellery, their makeup application, etc.
Constantly catching the thought and redirecting it to something more productive.
Practicing forgiveness for the folks who encouraged me to think about myself in certain ways - they were just reteaching what they were taught, but I can change it for folks going forward!
Trusting that my body knows more than I do. I have spent 3 decades ignoring her: first by depriving her of sustenance, then depriving her of rest and connection, and what I’m working on now, by trusting that she knows when she’s full.
CURIOSITY
As you move forward, continue to use curiosity to guide you towards a more aligned way of existing in relation to your body/body image. Most of what we’ve been taught was not ours to begin with (which you’ve probably realized by doing the weekly activities). Use this tool to move beyond the body as well!
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
If you heard a 5 year old saying those things about their body - what would you tell them?
If you heard a 10 year old saying those things about their body - what would you say?
What do you wish your teenage self knew about their body?
What experiences did younger you go through that could have impacted the feeling of safety within your body? How can you reassure them that you are safe now?
How can you empower the younger version of you to see that they are more than just their body?
How does the thought of wearing your outfit/doing the activity make you feel in your body?
What anxieties do you have around the way your appearance appears to other folks?
What thoughts consumed you as you wore your outfit/ did your activity out of the house and in public? What were you aware of?
What fears did you have and did any of them actually come true?
What were you afraid people would say about you/find out about you wearing that outfit/doing that activity?
Have you heard those phrases/statements before? If so, from who? And when?
What is a thought you can have about your body that will help you feel more confident in your outfit/self?
What is an activity I can do that will make me feel good in my body?
Does this environment make me feel more or less like I can be my truest self?
How do the people I surround myself with impact the way I see myself/my body?
What boundaries do I need to set (with myself and others) to move towards a more body neutral/body positive way of living?
How will I know when I am okay with myself? What will I be doing, wearing, eating, etc.?
When I am having a bad body image day, what are some steps I can take to move through it?
What types of people/environments/context tend to bring my body image insecurities to the surface?
When I am not appreciating how my body looks, what are some things I can thank it for?
What are some beautiful things my body helps me achieve?
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE GOING FORWARD:
Every morning upon waking, simply touch a part of your body and thank it for being there and doing what it does best.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
