Body Image Reset: Week 5
Body Image Reset: Week 5: Moving Forward
MOVING ON
Tis the final week and hopefully we are starting to see a shift in not just how you see yourself, but also, how you relate to your body and self. Our bodies are just our way of existing in the world and while some bodies experience oppression as a result of the way they look/function, we don’t need to add to that oppression ourselves. I remember being a kid that was bullied in school, but I knew as soon as I got home that I would be safe with myself hanging out in the forest or in the river. I learned to become my own safety and while there were times in high school and my 20s that I may have forgotten that, my body - my home- has always been there for me. While our bodies might physically stop us from doing certain things in a world that is not set up to accommodate or accept all bodies, our THOUGHTS about our bodies shouldn’t be adding to the barriers. In order to move on and truly reset our body image, we need to continue our daily practices. While we can take a step back from the daily consistency of looking at ourselves in the mirrors/photographs, etc. - I encourage you to carve out an intentional time for this practice once a week. Seeing ourselves throughout our life stages and in a variety of different ways of looking, we learn to not be afraid of ourselves - instead simply acknowledging that this is just what I look like at this moment - it’s not good or bad, it just is. Instead of steps, I am going to share a few of my favorite practices that you can create space and time for if shifting your body image is important to you.
The Practices:
Reading books about Body Image & the concept of beauty standards (check out my book The Geode Theory for starters!) Other favorites include: The Beauty Myth, Health at Every Size, Body Wars, & Fearing the Black Body
Making time to do self portraits (this is why I wanted you to have your camera) - get to know yourself from every possible angle and in fact, I encourage you to start with photographing yourself to see the things you are the most afraid of. You can apply the curiosity questions we used from Week 1 to work through what you are making those certain angles mean. If you want some tips on self portraits, I have a course here but I also have some tips for folks on my instagram here.
Pay attention to the things you think about yourself that are non-body comments. I realized that I would do anything to avoid being seen as lazy and would feel guilty if I wasn’t working because fat bodies are standardly associated with lazy.
Shut down body talk with friends, family, clients, etc. Folks socialized as women have learned to objectify ourselves and each others by complimenting each other on body related compliments -but it is harmful to reduce ourselves to our body parts, no matter how well intentioned. Instead, I encourage people around me to use non-body focused compliments (you look amazing! Your aura is glorious! You light up the room when you are here!) or compliment folks on things they CHOOSE: their style, their haircut, their jewellery, their makeup application, etc.
Constantly catching the thought and redirecting it to something more productive.
Practicing forgiveness for the folks who encouraged me to think about myself in certain ways - they were just reteaching what they were taught, but I can change it for folks going forward!
Trusting that my body knows more than I do. I have spent 3 decades ignoring her: first by depriving her of sustenance, then depriving her of rest and connection, and what I’m working on now, by trusting that she knows when she’s full.
CURIOSITY
As you move forward, continue to use curiosity to guide you towards a more aligned way of existing in relation to your body/body image. Most of what we’ve been taught was not ours to begin with (which you’ve probably realized by doing the weekly activities). Use this tool to move beyond the body as well!
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
If you heard a 5 year old saying those things about their body - what would you tell them?
If you heard a 10 year old saying those things about their body - what would you say?
What do you wish your teenage self knew about their body?
What experiences did younger you go through that could have impacted the feeling of safety within your body? How can you reassure them that you are safe now?
How can you empower the younger version of you to see that they are more than just their body?
How does the thought of wearing your outfit/doing the activity make you feel in your body?
What anxieties do you have around the way your appearance appears to other folks?
What thoughts consumed you as you wore your outfit/ did your activity out of the house and in public? What were you aware of?
What fears did you have and did any of them actually come true?
What were you afraid people would say about you/find out about you wearing that outfit/doing that activity?
Have you heard those phrases/statements before? If so, from who? And when?
What is a thought you can have about your body that will help you feel more confident in your outfit/self?
What is an activity I can do that will make me feel good in my body?
Does this environment make me feel more or less like I can be my truest self?
How do the people I surround myself with impact the way I see myself/my body?
What boundaries do I need to set (with myself and others) to move towards a more body neutral/body positive way of living?
How will I know when I am okay with myself? What will I be doing, wearing, eating, etc.?
When I am having a bad body image day, what are some steps I can take to move through it?
What types of people/environments/context tend to bring my body image insecurities to the surface?
When I am not appreciating how my body looks, what are some things I can thank it for?
What are some beautiful things my body helps me achieve?
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE GOING FORWARD:
Every morning upon waking, simply touch a part of your body and thank it for being there and doing what it does best.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
Body Image Reset: Week 4
Body Image Reset: Week 4: Body Confidence
BODY CONFIDENCE
Week 4 is upon is which means only 1 more week to go after this! I wonder if anything is changing the way you see yourself, think of yourself or talk to yourself? I mean, it’s never going to be 100% perfect, but as long as we are actively striving then we are on the right track! This week’s focus is going to be looking at BODY CONFIDENCE. This is the idea that regardless of what your body looks like (and over your life, it’s going to look like a bajillion different versions) you can be confident within it. In order to do that, we need to start pushing our comfort zones just a little more - sure looking at ourselves in the private of our bathrooms is a good start, but now it’s time to take this bod of yours on a field trip! Body image is more based on how we perceive others perceiving our bodies than it is ourselves. Think about it - during the pandemic when we weren’t going out in public, many of us stopped wearing bras, shaving, waxing, getting our lips done, etc. Sure, some of the places were closed, but once things opened back up, many of us still stayed in the comfort of our homes and within that we were relatively comfortable in the way that our bodies kept us safe. It was when the thought of going back to work, seeing people in real life, etc. that people began to freak out about additional weight gain, their roots, their thick eyebrows, etc. In order to truly be body confident, we have to pay attention to what we think OTHER people are thinking about us - because to be honest, people aren’t really thinking about us at all.
DISCLAIMER: Some folks who exist in marginalized bodies truly are unsafe in their bodies because of our current culture. Feel free to take this practice and make it as bold or minimal as you feel safe doing.
The Steps:
Continue the practice from week 1, 2, & 3
Create an outfit that when you put it on (without looking at yourself) you FEEL confident in. Whatever it is. Just as soon as it’s on - you are like “YUP. I’M BAD ASS”
Plan a trip somewhere out of the house for you to wear said outfit. It could be the grocery store, the pharmacy, the park, the theater, the mall, wherever. You can also choose a time limit (I will spend 20 minutes in this outfit in public)
Without looking in the mirror, head out on your excursion.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITYIf wardrobe is out of the question, I want you to choose an activity that might make you a wee bit anxious about. For me, I used to avoid eating certain things in public until I realized that I was projecting my own fears onto what I assumed other people would thinking of me. Or when I’d do a physical activity I became aware that I was always thinking about what other people thought of “this fat body doing XYZ activity” - but again, chances were they weren’t thinking about me at all.
CURIOSITY
Use the following questions below and journal your answers. Continue with the same questions as week 1, and then add on the additional questions:
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
If you heard a 5 year old saying those things about their body - what would you tell them?
If you heard a 10 year old saying those things about their body - what would you say?
What do you wish your teenage self knew about their body?
What experiences did younger you go through that could have impacted the feeling of safety within your body? How can you reassure them that you are safe now?
How can you empower the younger version of you to see that they are more than just their body?
How does the thought of wearing your outfit/doing the activity make you feel in your body?
What anxieties do you have around the way your appearance appears to other folks?
What thoughts consumed you as you wore your outfit/ did your activity out of the house and in public? What were you aware of?
What fears did you have and did any of them actually come true?
What were you afraid people would say about you/find out about you wearing that outfit/doing that activity?
Have you heard those phrases/statements before? If so, from who? And when?
What is a thought you can have about your body that will help you feel more confident in your outfit/self?
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE FOR THE WEEK:
Continue doing your 20 minutes of looking at/touching your body and being curious about the outcome. Every day, I want you look at the things you say to yourself and imagine they are coming from a younger version of yourself and write out your rebuttal. Now, we are going to add on wearing/doing something slightly out of the comfort zone with your body IN PUBLIC. Do you notice any trends with how you think about your body vs. how you think others interpret your body?
At the end of the week, look at your journal entries and see if there are any trends/patterns.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
Body Image Reset: Week 3
Body Image Reset: Week 3: Redirecting Your Thoughts
REDIRECT THE THOUGHTS
Omigosh! Week 3! You’re doing amazing! This week is when we are going to start to take control of the things that we think about ourselves on the daily. This is going to take some intentional foresight and thought, but it will be amazing once we do it. Sometimes it’s easier talking to someone else, particularly someone who is younger, so for this week, you are going to need to use the photos of yourself at different ages and we are going to think about how we could have helped little you’s body image!
The Steps:
Continue the practice from week 1 + 2
Pull out images of your younger self and use your journal to think about their body image journey and write down what you might say to them if you were able to travel back in time and meet your younger self.
Tape those images of yourself up on your mirror as a reminder.
CURIOSITY
Use the following questions below and journal your answers. Continue with the same questions as week 1, and then add on the additional questions:
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
If you heard a 5 year old saying those things about their body - what would you tell them?
If you heard a 10 year old saying those things about their body - what would you say?
What do you wish your teenage self knew about their body?
What experiences did younger you go through that could have impacted the feeling of safety within your body? How can you reassure them that you are safe now?
How can you empower the younger version of you to see that they are more than just their body?
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE FOR THE WEEK:
Continue doing your 20 minutes of looking at/touching your body and being curious about the outcome. Every day, I want you look at the things you say to yourself and imagine they are coming from a younger version of yourself and write out your rebuttal. It can look like this:
”My stomach is flabby and gross” -> “Listen, 7 year old Teri, tums are meant to change and grow and shift with time. That’s what they do. Sometimes they get big, sometimes they get smaller, but they are just doing what bodies do. It doesn’t mean you are less of a person because your tum is soft.”
How can you empower your younger self to think differently?
At the end of the week, look at your journal entries and see if there are any trends/patterns.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
Body Image Reset: Week 2
Body Image Reset: Week 2: Reintroducing yourself to your body
REINTRODUCTION
Welcome to week 2! In this week, we are going to reintroduce ourselves to our bodies and get in touch with them daily. You can add this week’s activity into the 15 minutes that you have already carved out for last week’s activity. You are going to continue to look at yourself, but this time we are going to touch our bodies while we do it. Many of us that live in cold climates get out of touch with our bodies through the winter months because we are wearing so many layers and many of us have also, unfortunately, felt unsafe in our bodies due to past traumas - but the reality is, is that our bodies ARE safe and we can remind ourselves of this by working with them, but we need to get to know them first!
The Steps:
Set a timer for 2 minutes
Continue your practice of disrobing in front of the mirror OR looking at the photograph and getting your thoughts out onto paper
Set a new timer for 5 minutes
While naked, use your hands to gently move across your body making sure to spend time on the areas of insecurity. Feel free to use lotion or body oil to cover your entire body from top to bottom
Pay attention to the thoughts that come to the surface as you are feeling the textures and experience of the physical form of your body.
At the end of the 5 minutes, write down the feelings that you experienced and the words that came up for you as your ran your hands over your body.
CURIOSITY
Use the following questions below and journal your answers. Continue with the same questions as week 1, and then add on the additional questions:
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs
As you touched your body, what thoughts floated to the surface?
Had anyone else said those words to you when they touched your body?
What areas did you struggle with touching compassionately/with kindness?
Did you witness anyone else struggle with kind touches to their body?
What do you EXPECT your body to feel like vs. what it ACTUALLY feels like?
If you had to describe your body to an alien who landed here on earth, how could you describe it? (remember, they don’t know about beauty standards, so they don’t know words like: ugly, gross, beautiful, pretty, etc.)
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE FOR THE WEEK:
Carve out 10-15 minutes in your day to do the 2 minutes of looking at yourself/looking at a photograph + 5 minutes of touching your body and give yourself a buffer of 3 - 8 minutes of curiosity time. You will want to do this daily. At the end of the week, look at your journal entries and see if there are any trends/patterns.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
Body Image Reset: Week 1
Body Image Reset: Week 1 : Building Awareness & Curiosity
AWARENESS
The first week of our Body Image Reset is to spend our time becoming AWARE of what we think about bodies (not just our own). This involves paying attention to the words that we say to ourselves, but in order to become aware of what we say to ourselves we must create intentional safe experiences for us to explore the things our mind tells us. One of my favorite activities that I teach is a very simple one and all it requires is your notebook and a writing utensil + a mirror. You can also do this with a photograph of yourself that you dislike, but I find the mirror the most challenging because that is where we tend to spend a lot of our time hating the way we look/appear to the world - but ultimately, if you are not ready for the mirror, then a photograph you dislike will work.
The Steps:
Set a timer for 2 minutes (it’s longer than you think)
Disrobe in front of the mirror OR look at the photograph
Pay attention to where your eyes go first and listen for the immediate thought (it is imperative that you do not JUDGE the thought!)
Write down the thought that you have (no matter how vile it might be)
Continue looking at yourself, dissecting your body into pieces with your eyes and hearing the thoughts that come to the surface, writing them down as you go
At the end of the 2 minutes, look at what you have written down - now you can get curious.
CURIOSITY
You’ve heard me talk about (and use!) curiosity in a lot of my self work and the work I do with others - this is the key that makes ALLLLL the difference in the world, because it turns us into a viewer of our thoughts instead of being consumed by them. Use the following questions below and journal your answers:
What did you feel right before looking in the mirror/at the photograph? Were you nervous, anxious, etc.? What did it feel like in your body?
What were you afraid of seeing?
When was the first time I heard these words from someone else?
Who taught me this way of thinking/that this body part shouldn’t look like this?
What am I making these parts of my body mean? (for example, if I think my thighs are big and disgusting - what does it mean if they ARE big and disgiusting?)
What was my energy/mindset like before I did this activity? (were you stressed out, tired, happy, joyful, etc.?)
What is a neutral thought I could have to replace the current thoughts I have? (ie. I think my thighs are big and disgusting -> I have thighs.)
YOUR DAILY PRACTICE FOR THE WEEK:
Carve out 10-15 minutes in your day to do the 2 minutes of looking at yourself/looking at a photograph and give yourself a buffer of 8-13 minutes of curiosity time. You will want to do this daily. At the end of the week, look at your journal entries and see if there are any trends/patterns.
Feel free to use the comment section at the bottom of each week to let me know how you are making out/what you are noticing! Also, feel free to reach out to me on instagram and share your practices by tagging me @terihofford ! You are not in this alone!
October Challenge: Body Image Reset
October Challenge: Introduction
Introduction
Welcome to The Body Image Reset for the month of October! I figured since it is my birthday month + I’m spending this month in Mexico teaching others about body image, that I would give you at home something to do to help you work through your body image. Remember, however, that many of us are dealing with 25+ years of negative body image thoughts and even a month of doing these practices, while beneficial will not completely undo it. There is no final destination, but rather, a sharpening of the skills needed to swat away the unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and ideas we have about bodies. Instead, this month is going to focus on helping you bring awareness to your body image thoughts & beliefs, creating quantifiable metrics for “achieving” a better body image, and overall, giving you practical tools and resources to help you continue this work after the month!
What you need to get started:
Journal/Notebook + writing utensil
Mirror
Photographs of your younger years
Photograph that you dislike yourself in
Lotion/body oil
Camera (phone is fine!)
Emotionally what you will need to do the work:
Compassion
Kindness
Love
Intention
Forgiveness
Gratitude
So, are you ready? You will receive 1 weekly email every Saturday to give you a task to focus on for the week. The key is to become consistent in doing the 1 task every day for the week and we will be “stacking” habits until the end of the month.