Being Photographed By Someone Else Is An Amazing Gift

Today I had a photoshoot with one of my absolute favorite photographers and as usual it brought a lot of things to the surface - and yet, it also made me realize how far I’ve come from my last paid photoshoot.

One of the things I realized the last time I had a photoshoot with someone else was how I looked exactly like myself in a boudoir photoshoot and how that made me realize that what we hope to see when we see ourselves in photos is that we look nothing like ourselves at all and yet, if we DID look nothing like ourselves, we’d be pissed as fuck. Take a peek at this post for an elaboration.

Today’s shoot, however, was just what it was. I didn’t have hair and makeup done. I went nude + some fabrics (and a sword!) and it was photographed by a man. Not once did I apologize for my body and the state of my skin, hair, or way of existing. I wanted to look powerful, strong, and artistic and for this to happen I had to release the idea of pretty, perfect and idealized beauty. I saw my skin texture, the ripples of my skin and cellulite, the lumpiness of my body and all I thought was how powerful it looked. I attribute seeing myself in photographs via self portraits AND having other people photograph me in their glorious, artistic ways to help me work through a lot of my body image bullshit.

I was able to realize that the way people photograph me has more to do with them than it has to do with me.
I was able to realize that my mood/stress levels will determine how I receive the images I look at.
I was able to realize that my body looks different from different angles and that different doesn’t mean bad, it just means different.
I was able to realize that people think different parts of me are beautiful to them and it helps me see my multi-faceted beauty.
I was able to realize that photos of me are just that - photos. They are not documentation of my full self.
I was able to realize that I will always be fat in photos because I am fat.
I was able to realize that I deserve documentation at every stage just as much as everyone else.

So, I want to encourage you to reach out to a photographer you love or at the very least hop in front of your own camera. Start confronting and listening - hearing what your inner voice is telling you quietly. Use photos of yourself to create intentional awareness to different things you think about yourself and your body and work through them at your own pace.

Photography, particular when done by someone else, can literally change the way you think about yourself because it brings to the surface exactly how you think of yourself. Use it to your advantage - become more self aware and start working through the mindset that controls your body image.
Let photography heal you.
Let photographers heal you.