What Happened When I Dressed for My Venus Sign as a Plus Size Woman
outfit 1: thrifted top, Torrid skirt ; outfit 2: dress from torrid, necklaces from JoeFresh; outfit 3: sweater from target, crotcheted crop top from old navy, skirt from torrid; outfit 4: sweater from flodesk, skirt from old navy
I saw my friend Sasha, a fellow creative artist, post about dressing for her Venus sign and it made me perk up. While I’m not a huge astrology fan, I love Human Design and testing different theories so I decided to look into this a little further. Following my tour in Edmonton for Homecoming where Sasha attended, I was able to ask her questions: What the hell is your Venus sign? What is the point of this? What does it all meeeeeean? She instructed me to do a quick google to figure out my Venus sign by putting in my birth chart (this is the website I used) and then to head to Pinterest and search : Venus in [whatever sign your report showed]. For me, I ended up with Venus in Virgo! And it was interesting that the same evening that I learned that, was also the first evening on the entire tour where I had grabbed a last minute outfit in the exact color/vibe of Venus in Virgo (moss green satin skirt, cream laced tank top, homemade sequin robe).
According to astrology, the planet of Venus is the planet of love, romance, money, beauty & art so the idea of dressing for your Venus sign is that you will step into your “attraction”. According to Stylight.com “Dressing for your Venus sign can help you reveal the most authentic and comfortable version of yourself.” And the interesting thing is, some of us already do it to a certain extent. When I put on my outfit the night of my final Western book reading in Edmonton, I was already feeling my most authentic because I had narrowed in on what I liked/didn’t like about the way I was doing the tour and stopped pretending to be someone I thought I had to be, so when I went out and bought my skirt and tank top it must have been in alignment. The most interesting thing, however, was the amount of compliments I received on that outfit! That being said, prior to that I had hesitated to stray beyond what I had been taught is “suitable” for someone of my size…
robe: handmade; tank top + skirt: old navy
Here is what the style for Venus in Virgo looks like:
Known as the “earthly minimalist”
Natural aesthetic but still put together
Feminine
Simple
earthy, beige, brown, moss, sage, taupe, white, cream, lavender, soft blues
and my favorite description: Romantic, but practical
And here’s where it gets really interesting for me. As a plus size person, the above descriptions were never words associated with my body (and if you saw my office, you’d know I am anything but a minimalist lol). The only wardrobe that I believed I was capable of attempting involved a lot of black, a lot of stretch, a lot of coverage, and a lot of cold shoulders (the plus size girlies know what I’m talking about). The thought of venturing into fabrics like silk, satin, and lace seemed beyond the scope of what was “allowed” for someone with a body like mine, but that’s exactly why I wanted to attempt it. What had I been missing out simply because of what I thought was available to me? Well, a cool thing happens when you tell your brain something is important to you…it seeks it out. Suddenly, everywhere I looked I saw greens, browns, creams, and golds. I was able to thrift the majority of my pieces and pull together some ensembles with previous items that I had and I felt awesome. I started trying on things I would normally just say no to because I didn’t think it was for me. In particular I came across this beautiful cream colored sweater dress that I would not even look twice at, but between the feeling of the fabric and how it felt when I put it on I couldn’t say no. I felt…elevated.
Dress: H&M
So, since dressing and shifting to my Venus in Virgo aesthetic, here’s what I’ve noticed:
There are a lot more options out there than I thought
I say this knowing that I have privilege because I exist in a body that fluctuates between sizes 1X-4X on the bottom and a L-2X on the top. Once I started feeling fabrics and truly thinking about what feels good AND is practical, more options started appearing to me. I realized that pants, aside from 1-2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of dress pants, and tights are not actually that practical for me because they rarely get the length right. I prefer to wear dresses and skirts (hello, feminine and romantic) so now I look for those where normally I would write them off completely because they weren’t sweats or tights. Also, for sweaters and cardigans, don’t forget about scouring the medium-XL section because sweaters tend to be sized bigger more often than not and have a lot of stretch. Personally, I also like my sweaters to be cropped as well. Looking for and playing with textures has been incredibly fun and it reminds me of when I used to hang out in my mom’s fabric store as a kid (or Fabricland now as an adult) and run my hands over different fabrics becoming aware of which ones made me shudder and which ones made me relax. All in all, the biggest outcome from this experiment has been realizing that there were a lot more options than I believed there were for me once I looked beyond the default wardrobe for fat folks: Disney - black - cold shoulder - stretchy fabric - floral ensembles.
Outfit 1: Sweater from Target, crotchet tank from Old Navy, skirt from Torrid; Outfit 2: crotchet top from Old Navy, skirt + necklaces from Joe Fresh; Outfit 3: sweater thrifted, dress from torrid, necklaces joefresh
2. Fashion is fun!
I now love putting outfits together seeing how I can pull different elements and textures in and seeing my wardrobe as art. Even though I work from home I have still enjoyed getting dressed up and playing with my wardrobe and seeing what goes together. I like treating it like an experiment! I also notice when I play with my fashion I get complimented on it every time. This is not being dramatic - I have done the research & collected the data (remember this was an experiment after all!)
outfit 1: sweater from flodesk, skirt from Old Navy; outfit 2: sweater from Target, tank top from Shop ARQ, skirt from JoeFresh; outfit 3: top thrifted, skirt from Torrid
3. Confidence comes easier when you step out of the comfort zone
When I first wore a satin skirt with a sweatshirt or my plaid mini skirt when it was snowing my brain flooded with statements I had heard from my youth - such as “Why are you so dressed up for a Tuesday?” or “Isn’t that a little short to wear in the cold?” (not realizing I run hot!) These types of comments always made me feel small and like I was too seen (as if that was a bad thing) so I felt insecure and always on edge. So, when I first started dressing outside the norm of tights and hoodies I braced myself, but because I was wearing fabrics that felt good and I felt cute when I saw myself in the mirror I told myself “Let them look.” I began walking out the door with my head held high and my heart open to receive any compliments that would come my way, stopping to compliment others when it felt warranted. I was able to challenge those initial insecurity thoughts with my ACE approach (Awareness of the thoughts, Curiosity about those thoughts, and Empowered Action to walk out with my head held high). The more I did this the more confidence I gained and now I like to play dress up and be seen in that form of play.
outfit 1: thrifted dress, necklaces from joefresh; outfit 2: sweater from Old Navy, skirt from Torrid; outfit 3: tank top from Shop ARQ, skirt from Joefresh
4. My experimentation with clothing got me thinking about other lies I’ve been told about having the body I have
Now that I’ve challenged and stepped outside of the confines of fashion for fat folks and found success, I am curious what other lies have been told to me about what I am allowed to have, explore or achieve. How else are these thoughts getting in my way? Where else am I stopping myself short simply because I never saw another option before this? Where else can I tempt the line of my comfort zone to expand and step into my confidence and openness? This is just the beginning!
outfit 1: thrifted sweater, crop top from Joefresh, skirt from old navy, rings from Zaleska, necklaces from JoeFresh
Overall, this was a success for me and I am going to continue to learn more about this aesthetic and lean into in ways that are fun, playful, romantic, and of course, practical. In fact, my branding change came as a result of leaning further into my Venus in Virgo and realizing how these colors are mimicked in the art that I create with my clients - from the fabric colors, backdrop choices and of course, beautiful skin tones. Earth is and always as been my inspiration.
