Peace, Joy & Body Acceptance: Don’t Just Take the Photos - Be In Them
The holidays can be an exciting time of year because we are capping off the year, getting together with friends and family (some we haven’t seen in a long time), heading out to work and family parties, and getting ourselves all gussied up. This means….photos! Now, as someone who has spent their life working with individuals who want to show up on camera, I am no stranger to “There’s a reason I’m behind the camera!” “Oh no, you don’t want me in there!” or “My mug will crack the lens!” Something you should know is that pretty much every person I’ve come in contact with, as a photographer, has professed their dislike for being on camera (yet they booked a photoshoot…) so I am here to give you some advice to make this holiday season even more fun because you will be getting in the photos and enjoying yourself through the process! Check out the 6 tips below!
Wear something you feel comfortable in AND makes you feel like yourself!
This is one of the easiest and most overlooked tip because more often than not we get caught up thinking we need to look a certain way before we are “allowed” to be photographed. Many of us (myself included) find ourselves desperately wanting to wear items that are currently trendy or what we think holiday clothes should look like, but many times they are made of fabrics and textures that make us feel squidgy. While I love a good glitter dress (ala the photos in this post), I feel itchy when I wear them after awhile. I’ve also worn pantyhose under short skirts which can make me feel like being stuffed into sausage casing and wool sweaters make me sweat. What I do now, if I know I am going to be out for awhile or sitting down a lot at a party, I think about the textiles that allow me to not think of my body at all. I love flowy baby doll style dresses with puffy sleeves. I love soft flannel and jersey textures. I’ve become a fan of a sweater dress and thick socks. While it may not look like the garments that are usually worn at Christmas parties, these are the things that allow me to focus on the people I’m with and not think twice about my body being uncomfortable! This makes showing up in photographs sooooo much easier.
2. Have a one shot selfie rule
This is something I initiated awhile ago for myself because I found that when I’d be out with my friends, they would take 100s of photos trying to get the “perfect” one. We wasted so much time worried about perfection that we totally lost the plot of just documenting us having a good time. With my one shot selfie rule, we take one photo and that’s just what we look like in that moment! It lends itself to more playful imagery and reminds me of when we’d have our point and shoot film cameras from the 80s and 90s. You get what you get and you don’t get upset. It’s way more fun, people get way more into it, and it allows you to document without taking away from the experience.
3. If you are worried about how to “pose” or “look good” on camera, take cues from folks like David Suh or myself!
Learning how to pose in a way that feels good in your body is also important. Again, a lot of times we think we have to look a certain way in a photo, but the truth is, one of the ways you can begin to accept yourself more and find confidence in the body you do have, is by trying different poses in front of the camera to see which ones feel good for you. Don’t hurt yourself trying to arch your back to high heavens or leaning forward (the little teapot pose) until you tip over - literally feel into your body, hang onto your friends and family, and have fun. Personally, I love ones where I’m laughing, smiling, looking away, or caught in the moment. If you are able to lean into a feeling vs. flattering you are going to be so much better off so focus on how you are feeling at that party/event/experience!
4. Remember why you are there
This is really important. Remember that you are at the event to enjoy hanging out and spending time with people you enjoy (hopefully) and that is the purpose, the photos are just the byproduct to documenting those moments. That’s it. That’s just what you looked like in that split second. That’s all that it means.
5. Let this be an opportunity for you to get used to being in front of the camera
I am a huge fan of exposure therapy and jumping in the deep end to quickly figure things out, so if being in photos more often is something that you would like so you can show up for your family and leave a legacy behind then your holiday events will provide the perfect training ground. With every event you will build up your resilience to not just being IN the photos, but also reviewing them without fear or anxiety afterwards. You can ask yourself what are you the most afraid of seeing before you head out to the party and use my favorite line of questioning to journal about it beforehand:
FEAR: ”I’m afraid of looking bigger than everyone else”
LINE OF QUESTIONING: ”What would it mean if you did?”
By doing this questioning before you head out to the party or event, you will have uncovered what you are truly fearful of and allow yourself to talk back to your fear, making it less stressful when you head out. It’s kind of like looking at your bank account - there will be anxiety the first few times you let yourself be photographed and review the images, but the more you do it and the more you confront it the less power it has over you.
6. Watch my Tedx Talk to hype yourself up
The reason I did my Tedx Talk was with the hopes of people like you doing the hard thing and showing up in front of the camera more. In my video I go through 5 reasons you may struggle to see yourself in photos and what you can do about it. It’s a great 13 minute talk to bring your priorities back to the front and help you move through some of the squidginess that arises when it comes to getting photographed. Check it out here and save it for future reminders!
