No. I won’t talk to your daughter about body image.
Buckle up. This might be a bit spicy.
At least once a month, if not more, I get a message or stopped in a store or at a conference where a well meaning person will come to me saying “I need you to talk to my daughter about body image!” and while I am flattered that they think of me, I am also slightly irritated. Yes. It would be easier if I could talk to your daughter about body image….because then you wouldn’t have to.
I usually follow that statement up with, “I appreciate that, but I would rather YOU talk to your daughter about body image so let me recommend my book The Geode Theory to you/come to a talk I’m given/join me at Body Image Bootcamp, etc.” I am not responsible for your daughter’s body image insecurities and you may not be either, but you are the one she trusts the most. You are the one she’s listening to, watching, and relying on to show her the way. You are the one who will end up making the biggest difference in your child’s life.
And how do I know this as someone who personally doesn’t have children?
Because my workshops attendees and readers all have stories about their parents and the impact they had on their body image - 98% of them having negative experiences with 2% being neutral or positive.
My job, as I see it, is to equip YOU, the parent, with enough ammo to undo your own body image so that you aren’t simply TELLING your daughters and sons what they should do, but rather you are showing them how you do it. Because if you say “You should love yourself” and turn around, eat a bag of chips and tell yourself you’re a piece of shit - they’re going to fall prey to the action, more than the words. Our brains LOVE negativity, especially as children, because it is responsible for keeping us alive - therefore, we hang onto negative experiences, moments, etc. longer than positive ones. This is why you probably had people tell you that you are beautiful when you were a kid, but all you remember is your mom squeezing her stomach so tight as she looked in the mirror that it left bruises on her skin.
So, no - I won’t talk to your daughter about body image, but I’d love to help you to.
Join me at Body Image Bootcamp or grab my book The Geode Theory: Chipping Away at Body Image
