What Does It Mean to Be Authentic?

With this new transition going on - from ONLY photographer to…multi-passionate educator I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I’ve created in the past and where all the through lines meet. One of the phrases people tend to say to me is “You are just SO authentic” and “I appreciate your authenticity” and so this word has been thrown around a lot. In fact, I remember I once sent out a survey to folks that know me and the consistent response was about my authenticity MORE than it was about my body image work, etc. This made me realize that Authenticity is just being your weird, wild self and trusting that deep seeded intuition that’s burning in our bellies. I think people appreciate that I am honest about not knowing where I’m going, but going anyway. So, I started thinking about the barriers to authenticity and perhaps….body image work isn’t my calling, encouraging and role modeling authenticity IS. Now, hear me out - body image gets IN THE WAY of authenticity so I think it’s the tip of the iceberg - our bodies are a great distraction from looking at what we actually dislike about WITHIN ourselves.

When I think of Body Image Bootcamp, one of the biggest agreements from the attendees was that they felt safe to be themselves as unapologetically as possible - and when I created BIBC, that wasn’t my focus - but it was the impact. They say that many of us become the people we wish we had when we were younger and if I look at the spaces, experiences and content I create I realize that that is exactly what I’m trying to do - create spaces, experiences and content where people feel seen, validated, free, liberated, and can lean further into who they are - recognizing it no longer as their kryptonite, but rather their super power.

Authenticity is freedom. Authenticity is your highest calling. Authenticity is your divine right.
Everyone should feel safe, loved, respected, supported to be who they truly are.
But here’s the kicker - I believe your authentic self is whomever you are in this moment.

Your authentic self was when you were 15 and doing stupid shit was your authentic self : you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you did what you wanted to do.
Your authentic self was when you were 23 and making not super great life decisions because you wanted people to like you.
Your authentic self was your 31 year old self who broke up with the partner who was not treating you with respect.
Your authentic self was your 49 year old self who started a business for the first time.

I truly think authenticity is owning it all.
Owning the bullshit that we did.
Owning the successes, the accomplishments, the accolades.
Owning the not super great decisions, the impulsive behaviors, the attachment to certain people.
Authenticity is being who you are in the moment, even if it pisses people off.

What happens, however, is we tend to HIDE that authenticity because of backlash. When we do something not super beneficial to ourselves or others, we usually get punished in some way and that makes us feel: unloved, unworthy, undeserving. This starts the knitting of the blanket that will cover your authenticity. When we feel unloved for behaving in the ways that we do, it makes it harder for us to feel loved when we aren’t doing those silly things as well. Every time we do something and it’s received unfavourably - particularly by those we care about the most - our blanket gets a little bit heavier and heavier and heavier. Suddenly, our authenticity is encased within this fortress of protection because we can’t be sure how people are going to respond to our behaviors. It’s easier to play along and do what everyone else is doing (even though, they are also encased within their fortress of protection).

So, part of my job, my life’s calling, my purpose, my passion - is to help unravel the blanket forts that folks have built up around their authenticity. It’s to help them realize that authenticity means owning who you are even when it’s scary and potentially unfavourable to others around you.

Being authentic means owning your mistakes, foibles and behaviors and standing resiliently despite them.
Being authentic means owning your successes, your tributes, your accomplishments and standing resiliently beside them.
Being authentic means understanding that you are a human being with many different emotions, feelings, attributes that are going to change as frequently as the wind.
Being authentic means shedding the shame that has followed you your whole life because of shit someone else taught you.
Being authentic means discerning between YOUR truth and THE truth and being okay with the outcome.
Being authentic means living in alignment with where you are in the moment and understanding that this will change and that’s not only okay, that’s great!
Being authentic means being, appreciating, and respecting you - as you are, in this moment.