I’m Angry

Okay, let me preface and say I’m not presently actually angry, but I am learning to deal with my anger. From the time that I was little I learned how to suppress anger and sadness so as not to upset my family or add to their burden. This is one of the things that has led to my binge eating disorder and the feeling of resentment and bitterness towards people that I care about. I don’t even know what anger FEELS like in my body. At least I didn’t until recently. In order to learn how to sit with and connect with my anger I started a new practice. Every day I am writing out the things that make me angry or mad. When I write them out, I can feel my brain wanting me to coach myself through it and bypass the anger by means of empathy and understanding - but the point is for me to SEE it and FEEL it and GET IT OUT.

I wanted to share this with you, because you might also be someone who has a hard time with emotions that can feel burdeny/inconveniencey/trouble makery to other folks. It is the lack of dealing with the feelings that creates the behaviors and if I want to change my behaviors I have to face my feelings and do something with them. So for now, I will use my notebook and get it all out just to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel how I feel.

The next step is learning how to move the energy out of the body so it doesn’t sit in my gut/chest and cause me to feel anxious or have additional sad feelings, but for now, I want to encourage you to get out your anger, your sadness, your grief onto a page. Release it from your chest. Let the stories go. And then breathe. Just breathe.