Why Being Soft is So Hard

I remember my sister’s pride
at having achieved
a body
so taught
and firm
to look good in her wedding dress
It should be no surprise
that shortly after,
as her tight muscles ripped
and stretched
to make room for life,
her self esteem shattered.
Without softness
Growth is more painful
Than it needs to be.

Softness is seen as weakness.

In physical form.
In Emotional form.

Softness is seen as undesireable.

But only when it comes to us.
We appreciate the softness of clean sheets,
Baby hair,
and
Pillows.
Of fluffy clouds
on a fresh spring day
and
Of our mothers’ hands on our backs when we are sick.

Softness is hard.

Because it’s associated with women.
We talk about
Soft skills
and
Soft bodies
As though they are things
to be ashamed of.

Yet, it is both of these things
that create worlds
and
bring worlds together.

Softness is weakness.

A hard body is seen as moral achievement
Superiority
Victory
Containment
Discpline
A soft body is seen as failure
Moral failure
Failure to be disciplined
Failure to stay put,
To stay small

To stay contained.

To be soft
Is to take up space
To expand
To grow
To change

Softness is contradictory.

It is natural for us
to desire softness,
But it has been taught to us
That we must reject it at all costs.

For physical softness
Is a visual reminder
Of the emotional softness
that is born within all of us.

And softness is hard to control.

To be soft
Is to be rebellious
Against a system
That thrives
On hardness.

On containment.

On control.

This is why being soft is so hard.