August Challenge: Week 1
Welcome to your first Purge Challenge, my friend - I am so excited you are here. This week we are going to be focused on decluttering your social media, content you consume, books and magazines that might be hanging around, and thinking about the people you surround yourself with.
One of my favorite quotes will always be “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” and this doesn’t just apply to people in your physical sphere - this also means people you listen to, content you consume, groups you hang out in, and various other sources that fill your brain with messages about who you should and should not be.
Challenge 1: SOCIAL MEDIA
I don’t know about you, but I rarely go through and remove old social media accounts - I just keep adding new ones! Every now and then I will see people come across my newsfeed and be like “Do I even know this person?” but I don’t take a moment to unfollow them and instead, I let their drama/content clutter my newsfeed AND distract me from why I am using social media in the first place (for business practices).
Your first challenge this week is to go through and remove AT LEAST 20 social media accounts that you follow that no longer serve the person you want to be. For me, I unfollowed photographer accounts that made me feel bad about my work, accounts of body image influencers who now thrive on talking about weightloss, and accounts that like to stir up drama.
As you are going through and looking at the different accounts pay attention to why you decide someone should stay or someone should go - are you keeping them out of obligation? So they don’t get mad at you? So they won’t be hurt? Ask yourself why you are willing to sacrifice your happiness and literal mental health for this person/account.
Challenge 2: SHOWS & MUSIC
This one is always tricky for folks because we definitely find some comfort in watching the same shows/movies and listening to the same music we always have - but in doing so, we can keep ourselves stuck in those versions of ourselves. For Challenge #2 you will pay attention to the content you consume via media (videos, tv shows, movies, and music) and see how it makes you feel and remove the ones that add to your anxiety. For me, I used to love watching Criminal Minds and similar types of shows, but once I started doing a lot of healing/growth I became more sensitive and I realized that I always had nightmares and was usually in a negative headspace. Similarly, there are a few soundtracks that at first I loved because they made me nostalgic, but then I realized that they were really making me feel depressed and anxious about the future. Also, when I listen to Ludacris as I’m driving, I turn into a maniac - not the person I want to be. Lastly, when I watched TV shows from my youth, I also found myself cringing with every racist, fatphobic, sexist comment - it just irritated me because that no longer flies in my world.
While this challenge is less of a purge (unless you want to), just pay attention to how the things you take in make you feel in your body. Is there a rise in your blood pressure, do you notice you get irritable? Are you more tired after indulging in some binge watching? What shows make you cringe nowadays?
Challenge 3: BOOKS & MAGAZINES
This one was a hard one for me, but one that made me feel better being in my space. I am a book hoarder - I love to learn, read (try to read), be inspired, etc. so I love having access to all the books that I’ve read….however, I also noticed that I keep my books like trophies. They prove how “smart” I am because intelligence is something I pride myself in and hold tightly to as an identity for myself. If I don’t have books to show how much I know, how will people know I am smart??? As such, I realized it was important for me reduce the weight of my bowed bookshelves and pass the goodness on to other folks. At first I was afraid that I might need the books for content/quotes/research/etc. but then I created a system where promptly upon finishing a book I will dump the things I find of importance into a document to refer to at a later date. I always highlight my books as a way of “collecting” information so it makes it easier to go back and find the information and it’s fresh in my mind.
With this challenge, I encourage you to go through your collection of books and donate/share any of the ones you haven’t cracked open in the last 3 months (with the exception of new ones) - this even means partially read ones if you are like me. Keep the ones that you reference and have a strong attachment to, but let go of the ones that you read and utilized. One thing I did was put the books I wanted to keep but have read into a clear tub in my closet and then my bookshelf is all the books I’ve bought, but haven’t read. This helps me also see what I have to get through before my next book binge.
As you go through and consider giving away books, ask yourself why you hang on to them to begin with. Is it rooted in scarcity? Identity? Resourcefulness? Just because? Starting to get curious here is going to help you in future weeks and in future challenges!
Challenge 4: PEOPLE
This is probably one of the hardest because we have fond connections with people in our lives, but sometimes we outgrow folks around us or we simply move in different directions. This challenge is going to be less about cutting people out (unless you want to) and more about discovering the individuals you surround yourself with, starting to think about what are you willing to put up with and what are you going to let go of in terms of your relationship with them.
Start with your immediate family and take stock of how each member makes you feel (and be honest with yourself) - ask yourself “What boundaries can I set to make sure I can still have a relationship with this person but not be affected by their actions?”
From there, move to your friends considering “What behaviors do my friends exhibit that are/are not in alignment with the person I want to become?” and “Will they be supportive or negative about the growth I want to experience?”
Lastly, co-workers and acquaintances: “On a scale of 1-10, how much do I care what other people think of me? In what ways am I sacrificing my authentic self to be what I think they want me to be?”
Again, it’s so easy for us to keep doing the same old, day in day out and many of us have been taught to put up with unhelpful behaviors of our family members simply because they are family - but if it makes you doubt yourself, feel bad about yourself, or sabotage your growth and success - some boundaries have to be set!
Ask yourself: “What am I afraid of if I was to set boundaries with this person?”
