Self Expression Over Beauty Standards
After being in the photography industry for over 10 years, I have been witness (and party to) the submission of self expression for the sake of adhering to beauty standards and ya know what….I’m not here for it anymore.
Body image and photography have been incredibly intertwined because photographs and the media inform us how we should look and our body image informs whether or not we feel beautiful enough to be worthy of being photographed. Every single client and model that I have photographed had at least 1 disparaging remark about how they looked in photos…many before they even had their photos taken! The looming harshness of beauty standards creates an invisible hurdle for folks to document themselves….particularly the truest version of themselves. To be honest, if I hadn’t been doing self portraits and studying the impacts of the beauty standard on our psyche, I would be holding myself back from photos as well because I have a body that up until the last 5-7 years hasn’t been seen in the most positive light in terms of photography.
One of the things I used to do in my photography studio was do a consultation with people asking how they wanted to see themselves and have them set an intention. These intentions ranged from “Feeling sexy” to “Feeling liberated” and so I knew I had to get more information from each person to understand what that meant to them. What I uncovered was that their expectation was to FEEL a certain way, but their fear was that they wouldn’t LOOK the way that feeling is “supposed to” and this fear of not looking “good” prevented us from truly achieving a feeling. So, I started asking: “What are you expecting that feeling to look like?” and “What would it mean if you felt the way you wanted to feel while the photo was taken, BUT you didn’t look the way you think you are supposed to?” and it was this last question that stumped most people….they didn’t realize that feeling something and expressing something could be 2 different things.
Just as we have representations for how bodies should look in images, we also have expectations for how emotions should look in images.
Do this quick exercise for me:
I want you to think of the feeling of ANGER. How would you demonstrate it in visual form?
Most people will tighten their fists, step forward, bare their teeth, crinkle their nose and associate it with colors like red, black, gray, etc.
Now, think about the last time you were actually ANGRY. What did you/ your body do?
Most folks socialized as women say they feel deflated, they turn away, they tighten their mouths, shoulders slump, jaws clench and they associate it with colors like navy blue, slate gray, lavender, cool tones.
So why do we imagine it should look one way when we actually feel it a different way? Because of representation. Most of the representations we have of ANGER are of men in movies being violent, attack ready, and intense. So we expect ourselves to look like that too and when we don’t we feel a disconnect between what is and what we expect. Secondly, folks socialized as women are rarely shown as angry - instead we’ve been given the title of: hysterical or crazy when we express this emotion - no wonder we try avoid seeing it in ourselves. Our expectations can cause us to feel disappointed and think that our photos are “bad” if they don’t live up to the standards we’ve been fed throughout our lives. Feel free to choose any other emotion and consider what you expect it to look like vs. how you actually experience it. Many folks socialized as women prefer photos of themselves smiling - again, what is the representation of how we’ve been taught we “should be” as women? That’s right - always smiling, pretty, and quiet.
Why is this important for photographers and clients of photographers? Because we are letting our expectations of our bodies and emotions get in the way of us actually experiencing and appreciating the unique way in which we show up and express ourselves. We are limiting the stories that are eligible for documentation because we think emotions like anger, sadness, grief, and pain are not things that should be remembered - but again, the reality is, is that these things are happening and part of the human condition whether or not we like it. Wouldn’t it be better if we had an outlet that we could honestly express them and have a truer documentation of the human condition? Photography is the documentation of a moment in time, but if we keep creating the documentation it doesn’t truly tell the story of what is….just like instagram, it tells the story of what we think “should be.” So many people fear stepping outside of the box in terms of posing, movement, or expression because they don’t want to look weird, bad, or…ugh…unflattering - but the reality is, is that’s just what we look in that expression. It’s not good or bad. Unless you make it so.
Photographers: Do an audit the next time you are creating with a client and ask yourself, “Where am I holding back because I am afraid their body or emotion will not adhere to beauty standards?” and “If I removed everything I have learned about bodies, how would my posing/photography be different?”
Subjects: Using your phone, start taking selfies of yourself showcasing various emotions. Get used to how YOU look when you actually feel something and then consider how it looks vs. how you think it should look. Same thing with your body. Start seeing yourself from different angles and different expressions of angles - yes, even the ones that you know are “unflattering” and ask yourself “If I removed everything I’ve learned about bodies, how might I appreciate this image differently?”
