5 Questions I Asked Before I Quit My Job

2 weeks ago I handed in my two weeks notice at my part time job. It wasn’t because of anything that happened or because of the job itself - but it’s because of me. Over the years, I used to stick with something just for the sake of avoiding look like a “quitter” but when something no longer is fulfilling ~ and I have the privilege to ~ it’s time to say “thnx byeeeeee!” Turns out I’m, as my mentor likes to say, “unemployable”. And I believe this to be true. I have spent my fair share of time being told when to stay or go, what hours to work and when to go home, asking for sick days (or not because you don’t want to ask for too much!), and having to work through something that drains you every day. Now, in my mid-40s…I don’t have time for that.

Now, I want to give a disclaimer:

I have no children and am only solely responsible for myself. I am also in a relationship with someone who doesn’t rely on my income for their life. I also have investments, savings, and income that comes in from a variety of other sources (like photography, my book sales, stock photography, and retreats!), so my part time job was just an additional income stream. I have a level of financial safety that made it easier for me to make the decision to quit.

For me, quitting always held a stigma - like I’d be some sort of martyr if I stayed suffering long enough for someone else to notice, but a few years ago I said “fuck that” and I began quitting left, right and center. I remember I even wrote an instagram post about quitting and it triggered someone SO much that they ranted in the comment section - as if my quitting was an offense to her. Like..what? But the less time I spend WAITING to quit because of fear of what other people will think, the easier quitting gets. Especially when it comes to jobs. I remember once when I was ready to leave a pretty toxic workplace and I was complaining to my mom, saying things like “What will they ever do without me?” “I can’t possibly leave them without training someone first.” etc. When I gave my two weeks, my manager said “Okay. Put it in writing.” That was it. No pleading for me to stay. No thank you for your years of service. No tears of sadness. That was my first lesson that business (for most corporations) isn’t personal. So, when it came time to quit this time, I called upon that previous experience and this time? My manager said the exact. same. thing. And while I am going to miss the folks I was working with, they deserve a colleague who doesn’t request so much time off!

Here’s 5 questions I asked myself when I got the itch to quit to make sure I wasn’t burning down something good just because of a little discomfort:

1) What are my values?

FREEDOM, baby! I want the freedom to come and go as I please, to make space in my calendar for friends & family when they need me, and to take on projects and opportunities when they arise. While I could request time off at my job, it still required that I ask for permission and sometimes it would be denied. Plus, it wasn’t fair to my other colleagues who also wanted to take time off. Now, a part time job enabled me to have more freedom than a full time job - it did get to the point where I desired MORE.

Another part of my authentic code/values is SELF EXPRESSION and ya girl just doesn’t do well with a dress code. I have so many cute outfits with spaghetti straps or crop tops or even sandals that I couldn’t even entertain for the job I had and that made me a wee bit sad. The positive to my job, however, was that it gave me an excuse (and a lovely discount) to try out looks I might normally not opt for! But now that my job will be done in a few days - these spaghetti straps are going to get a work out!

2) How did it effect my mood the rest of the day?

While my shifts were only anywhere between 3-5 hours I would still basically write off the entire day because I would be so frickin’ drained. Whether it was from the florescent lights, the constant hum of mall noise, being “on”, or doing repetitive work I would come home, scroll on my phone in a daze only to pass out on my chaise outside in the sun for another few hours. I recognized that my work style is not capable of switching tasks/jobs so easily and while I thought a part time job would give me the consistency with the wiggle room to work around it, my brain and body (at this stage of life) just cannot handle it. As such, I fell behind on keeping the house clean and organized, working on the dream business (this stuff), writing, hobbies, etc. and that just made me feel worse about myself.

3) Was I really making any money?

Short answer? No. I was making minimum wage ($15/hr), but using that 50% discount like it was going out of style. My husband joked that we should have made a spreadsheet to see how much I brought in vs. spent. So, I was trading my finite time for money so I could buy stuff I didn’t need (blog post coming on that soon!) Then, I booked a few photoshoot clients this year and it really put it into perspective that I could be helping to change people’s views of themselves, make a lot more money and help me shift the needle in my mission. That was the lightbulb moment. While I absolutely LOVE the opportunity to shift people’s perspectives in the fitting room, I can still do that when I go shopping or see someone wearing something I love!

4)Are my strengths being used?

Part of working for someone else is that you usually have to slide into their vision - even if that vision is so far removed from what you know the customers truly want. My strengths lie in strategy and future thinking and not being able to utilize these strengths was really quite depressing. Being told “No” without a reason why or hit with a “It’s just the way it is.” drives me bonkers. There were so many ideas and thoughts I had about how we could increase customer retention, make people feel seen & heard, and just get them excited about styling and fashion - but more often than not these ideas were not taken into consideration because they would have to go through like 7 levels of checkpoints. So, things just stay the same. I’ll continue to give my suggestions like most people do - in the comment section.

5)Am I making this decision out of love or fear?

100% out of love. That’s why it was a wee bit scary to do. I am doing it because I love myself enough to know what parameters I need to enforce for me to thrive and because I know what kind of life I want to design. I am also doing it because I love everyone around me and my mission to change the way people see themselves and their bodies. Lastly, I am doing it because I love making memories with my friends & family and I want to go to them when they need me the most or open my home to them when they want to come visit.

Quitting anything isn’t easy (especially for us high achievers) because of the voices in our head telling us we failed, we gave up, etc. But those voices were never ours - they were just created to keep us safe. Once I was aware of my answers to those questions, the next step was figuring out what strategy would I need to put into place to minimize the impact my quitting would have. For me, it was pretty easy as mentioned in the disclaimer at the top - but for some of you, there are a lot more factors at play which need to be considered. This means, before you take the leap and quit whatever it is you might be thinking of do your due diligence - figure out what your monthly expenses are, do you have savings lined up, how will you take care of your bills in the in between? Etc. When I wanted to do more education and less photography, I had a 3-5 year plan which involved slowly taking over the old income with the new income. 25% of income came from education in 2018, 50% in 2019, 75% in 2020, and then 100% in 2022. Quitting can take as long as you need to make it stick and do it with guard rails in place!

Whatever you are contemplating quitting, these questions should give you a bit of guidance to do the hard thing. And at any point you want a sounding board, I offer coaching to help you make sense when your brain tells you to stay & go at the same time!