Maybe You Aren’t A Boudoir Photographer - I’m Not.
About 2 years ago I felt a stirring within my soul.
At first it was quiet. It was like a tiny little whisper from deep within that made me notice, but was soft enough for me to dismiss it as I ventured about my day as I had the previous 3 years.
Then it got a little louder.
So, I tried to outrun it by:
-travelling to different locations to shoot somewhere new
-redecorating my studio/buying new furniture
-buying more wardrobe for the studio
Thinking that “IF I JUST DO THIS THEN I WILL BE HAPPY AND IT WILL BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO”
But the whisper just shifted to a hum, just slightly louder.
I looked at my business:
Maybe I need to change my pricing structure
my posing flow
my editing style
my offerings
join other boudoir facebook groups
which ultimately make me feel even more like something’s wrong and that I don’t belong.
So, I call it IMPOSTER SYNDROME.
But I’m not an imposter in what I think I’m an imposter in.
I realized that what that hum (now a vibrating symphony echoing through my whole body) is trying to tell me is:
“Of course you feel like an imposter….because you aren’t a boudoir photographer.”
And hearing this is almost more chaos inducing than just having the silent whisper to begin with.
Because I know it’s true.
I know it’s right.
Boudoir Photography is limiting me and for the last 2 years while I tried to wear that title it felt like an itchy sweater that fit - kinda - and wasn’t comfortable.
So, I hear myself say it:
“Of course you feel like an imposter. Like you don’t belong. It’s because you don’t belong and you aren’t a boudoir photographer.”
“I’M NOT A BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER.”
I have had to say this to myself multiple times through this year to align my insecure, ego-driven, fearful self with my true knowing best self.
So, how do I know I’m not a boudoir photographer? (aside from that lovely inner voice telling me)
Because photography is what I DO [sometimes], but it is not what I AM.
I am a change agent.
I am a challenger of belief systems.
I am an empowerer.
I am a teacher.
I am a coach.
I am an innovator.
Therefore, my business practices cannot fit neatly into the boudoir box. My pricing structure, my social media “strategy”, my marketing, my photography - will not fit into the boudoir box . Every time I try to contort myself to fit within the confines of this genre that gave so much to me for the past few years, I am ignoring the vastness that awaits for me outside of this box.
I want to be a practitioner of body love.
I want to be the giver for the givers.
I want to provide support for those on the empathetic front lines of the boudoir industry.
I am meant to create, to innovate, to challenge, and make change.
and why would I limit the methods by which I can do this, particularly if I love to do many different things and am able to fuse them with the sole mission of empowering as many people as possible?
“SO, WHAT ARE YOU, TERI?”
Well, I am me.
Right here.
Right now.
And while my instagram bio may reflect “body image & mindset coach and empowerment phtoographer”
I am willing to accept it if it might change
I mean after all, they make those bios capable of editing, so why would I pour concrete on myself?
I am wielding a kit full of creative tools at the ready to help me fulfill my mission when it’s called for.
For some clients this might look like a photoshoot. For someone else, it might look like a coaching. For my community, it might look like a Facebook Live. It could be fun t-shirt or a deck of cards that allows YOU to create and challenge.
Maybe it’s a book.
A course.
A retreat.
Advice.
A hug.
Whatever form it takes, I promise you that it will be my very best of what I have to offer in that moment.
