A Month off Socials Taught Me This
So, Sept 1 I took a hiatus from instagram and ultimately from facebook for the most part. I made sure to update the necessary things I needed to for Body Image Bootcamp (instagram.com/bodyimagebootcamp) and for my various groups on FB, but other than that I removed all apps off my phone and worked solely from my computer so I wouldn’t be tempted.
Here’s what happened:
1) My heartburn went away within the first week - I did not realize how much anxiety/stress being on instagram and facebook was causing me. It sounds ridiculous, but the world seemed brighter, quieter, and more…like I remember from the 80s/90s.
2) That being said, the first 5 days I was anxious about missing out on things - I constantly grabbed for my phone and got frustrated that the apps were missing. Instead, I shifted my attention to tiktok and found myself scrolling over there. Until one day I realized I could scroll forever and it would never end. I deleted the tiktok app immediately after that awareness.
3) I missed sharing things in my stories as easily - is there an app that works just like stories? I want to just share things with my community when they come up - not when it’s CONTENT. I have to do some research and find a space where I can just be an idiot and share things quickly with people instead of having to have a curated situation a la instagram. The Libra in me loves the aesthetics of instagram feeds, but the point is lost past aesthetic.
4) I felt like I was in a silo - While being online with minimal interaction makes me feel worse, for some reason being off the apps made me feel alone-alone - it wasn’t worse, it was just different. Not sure if I liked it or not.
5) By week 3 - life was vibrant. I poured myself into hobbies (I started to learn the violin!), read voraciously like I used to, lazed around dreaming, started curating my magic rituals, and created content for The Reform School for Good Girls. This was fun because it was super intentional, playful, and everything I love!
6) When I started posting about BIBC, I had to jump back into the swing of things at least on my BIBC instagram account and it wasn’t nearly as bad as my Teri Hofford account. I still found myself intentionally posting, then scrolling through - but I got bored really quickly and would move on to other things. I did, however, start to care about metrics again (sigh).
7) I downloaded an app called SAN (Straight Arrow News) which gives me the news updates in a way that feels as factual as possible right now. They also have a scale which shows what was missed in both the Left & Right media channels which is pretty nifty. You can search the topics that you are interested in learning about in a more factual way. I recognized how good it was to read the news this way because I could feel my own confirmation bias being tugged at and I had to go into it with critical thinking, figuring out what I feel to be right for me.
8) I took less photos - This one threw me for a loop. As soon as I stopped showing up on social media, I stopped photographing as much with my phone OR camera unless it was something intentional or something I truly loved. I found I edited my photos a lot less as well (like on the Tezza app). Once I started posting on the BIBC account I needed to ramp it up again and started creating again, but I was very surprised that for about 2 weeks I barely took any photos. This made me aware of how much of my creation is based on someone else seeing it vs. me just doing it for fun. (YIKES).
9) I went back and forth about how I would want to continue with social media now that the month is over - I still don’t know what my relationship will be. Like I said, if I can find an app that lets me just share content that I like when I want to (I’m thinking Whatsapp maybe?) then I might do that instead. I actually googled if I should delete my instagram and start again. The jury is still out, but google said “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVE 33k+ FOLLOWERS. DON’T DELETE JUST POST WHAT YOU WANT” (essentially).
10) The privilege I have to step away from social media when our world order is crumbling around is - when I deleted insta off of my phone, the quietness that followed was full of guilt. I recognize the immense privilege I have as a white woman in a cushy home in a country that (for the moment) is seemingly safe from the huge horrors happening around the world. I was able to be in my garden and not fear for my life. I could hang out with my mom and husband and not worry if they’d be taken away. I was able to pop back in and back out because my literal life did not depend on me pleading to folks half a world away to watch a 1 minute video. The dystopian world we currently inhabit online is noisy and the quietness fills with the noise of “shoulds”. That being said, in this time and space I’ve been able to truly think about the ways in which I am able to make a difference to the issues I care about, am passionate about, and support beyond just liking, sharing, and reposting. A lot of this looks like contacting representatives daily, signing petitions, attending rallies, connecting with agencies that support and uplift, and creating my own ways of challenging the status quo (BIBC, ACE Method Lab, etc.).
11) Social media is less social and more hot takes & want ads. And I’ve been and am part of this. Which I think is okay, we just can’t expect it to be more than that. If instagram is becoming more of the community billboard of folks sharing what they are selling, I’m into it - let it become craigslist albeit a bit more beautiful. But I don’t think I will continue to try to foster community there. I think my community building is better found in person (workshops, retreats, zoom courses, etc.) and my social media is just the pipeline to let people know what’s going on. I know there will be people who dislike this approach, but the apps? they are a changin’ and I need to change my expectations and usage of them accordingly.
12) My body image, self esteem, and confidence as a business owner all improved when I stopped being on social media. When I logged on for the BIBC stuff I saw other people’s content and immediately doubt set in - what the fuck? I was fine before that happened. It’s important for us to recognize that no one is immune to the hazardous impacts of social media - even those of us that do daily thought work, are quite self aware, and bubble wrap our lives with positive rituals. We become a product of where we hang out - in person and online.
So, where does that leave me? Well, I wasn’t excited enough to do a profound instagram post at the start of this new month and I am not sure even what and if I want to post and in what capacity yet, so I will continue to do collaboration posts and create content that celebrates the in person partnerships that I’ve fostered.
For all the other good stuff, keep an eye on my blog (terihofford.com), and for REALLY good stuff, come join The Reform School for Good Girls - my monthly community full of micro-learnings, online gatherings, and monthly challenges to inspire your best life and shift your mind to help you get the life you deserve AND desire.
Experiments like this month off instagram help me reset and really think about the life I want to curate for myself - have you taken a month or more off socials? If so, what were your findings? Let me know in the comments!